Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Can I Get a Mulligan???

My friend told me that when I am feeling down and out to blog my troubles away.

I know, sounds kind of silly doesn't it.

What he meant was to use my hard times/obstacles/roadblocks/what have you to help me find some motivation (and my way back on track) and maybe even help others at the same time.

Because you know what? Life can really throw me for a loop some times. And when it does, well some times it is really hard to get back on track.

That's where I am now- trying to get back into the swing of things.

What happened, you might ask?

Well, I went away for a conference and then I went to visit some amazing friends and attend a wedding. Sounds pretty normal, right?

What actually happened- really crappy food choices (meaning zero fruits/veg, lots of processed crap), lots and lots and lots of beers (even in place of meals some nights), no exercise, really bad sleep, which all contributed to not only a huge weight gain but also this overwhelming feeling that I have turned into a slug...or maybe a sloth. Yeah, sloth would probably work better in this story.

So here I am, trying to dig myself out from the damage last week did to me. Mostly to my psyche though. I feel mentally drained. And a bit hopeless.

But I know this is just a temporary feeling. A few more days of eating yummy plants and getting adequate sleep and exercising will make me feel like my old self again. I know that.

It's just this part that's hard to get through. It's hard not to feel overwhelmed or hopeless or pissed or ashamed. Why? I don't know. Probably because that's just who I am. Always my toughest critic. Always too concerned about how other perceive me.

Yes, on even 'normal' days my appearance gives me anxiety. So now, when I feel super gross and extra squishy (kind of like the Pillsbury dough boy) well it's hard to want to face the world.

But I'm here, checking in.

Letting you know what I am going through today.

Letting you know that tomorrow it will be better.

And the day after that even better.