My friend told me that when I am feeling down and out to blog my troubles away.
I know, sounds kind of silly doesn't it.
What he meant was to use my hard times/obstacles/roadblocks/what have you to help me find some motivation (and my way back on track) and maybe even help others at the same time.
Because you know what? Life can really throw me for a loop some times. And when it does, well some times it is really hard to get back on track.
That's where I am now- trying to get back into the swing of things.
What happened, you might ask?
Well, I went away for a conference and then I went to visit some amazing friends and attend a wedding. Sounds pretty normal, right?
What actually happened- really crappy food choices (meaning zero fruits/veg, lots of processed crap), lots and lots and lots of beers (even in place of meals some nights), no exercise, really bad sleep, which all contributed to not only a huge weight gain but also this overwhelming feeling that I have turned into a slug...or maybe a sloth. Yeah, sloth would probably work better in this story.
So here I am, trying to dig myself out from the damage last week did to me. Mostly to my psyche though. I feel mentally drained. And a bit hopeless.
But I know this is just a temporary feeling. A few more days of eating yummy plants and getting adequate sleep and exercising will make me feel like my old self again. I know that.
It's just this part that's hard to get through. It's hard not to feel overwhelmed or hopeless or pissed or ashamed. Why? I don't know. Probably because that's just who I am. Always my toughest critic. Always too concerned about how other perceive me.
Yes, on even 'normal' days my appearance gives me anxiety. So now, when I feel super gross and extra squishy (kind of like the Pillsbury dough boy) well it's hard to want to face the world.
But I'm here, checking in.
Letting you know what I am going through today.
Letting you know that tomorrow it will be better.
And the day after that even better.
**hugs** I could have written this. It's how I've been feeling for the last 10 days. Well, my post would be far less eloquent. Probably more like "F*#& this is hard." I don't know how to get my mojo back. I'm trying. And it's slowly happening but it's frustrating. Just gotta keep plugging away and it'll get better, right?
ReplyDeleteFuck, this is hard! I have been 'hiding' for a few days. Just feeling super pitiful and today I am finally, honestly trying to get out from under that rock and get back into the swing of things. What I did first was share my issues with Paul and friends- I needed to bitch and moan and feel bad about myself for a bit. Then I put together a training plan that will work with my schedule, I wrote about my issues, and finally I am starting to see the light. For me, I need a plan. training plan, meal plan, whatever. It's just so easy for me to get out of control if I don't have one. So, that's what I did and now I just need to be accountable and hold myself to it. No more bs excuses that seem so easy to make lately. Nope. I am only hurting myself and I deserve better.
DeleteAnd you do too! So, figure out what you need to help get you back on track and do it! :)
I've been having a pity party for almost 2 weeks now. It's ridiculous. My eating has been fairly decent, but I have zero desire to exercise. I made an exercise plan. I'm making a menu tomorrow. But sticking to them will be a challenge I'm sure. Life just really sucks right now and it's hard to see the positive stuff. Anyhoo...I'll just keep plugging along and it will work out eventually.
DeleteJust take one day at a time. That's all any of us can do. It will take a few days or even weeks to get back into your old routine but don't get discouraged. Just know that every step you make back to where you want to be is a step in the right direction. You'll get there, so will I. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you :)
DeleteJust keep being awesome and making me want to be awesome too. ;)
DeleteI felt a huge sense of relief late last night and slept well, finally so I'm hoping my brain is back in the game.
I know exactly where you're coming from because right now I am there. Too many changes and too much travel lately have wreaked havoc on my routine. And I'm clawing my way back to my healthy normal but damn is it hard to get back there.
ReplyDeleteYep. It is so hard. Baby steps- that's what I keep telling myself. It will get better because I deserve better- I deserve to put my health first. So, that's where I'm at right now. Just trying to get back into a routine, trying to feel like a human again, and preparing for the chaos that comes at the end of the month- fitbloggin. Lol!
Deletehave fun at fitbloggin!
DeleteFWIW, I thought you looked great last night. However, I also know that if you don't feel great then it doesn't matter how great others think you are. It's hard to get back on track but you can and will do it. I'm here for you and let's try to make an active date soon. We'll go for a walk or a run or try one of those barre classes. No beer or other carbs allowed!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I mean it was only a week, I didn't gain more than maybe five pounds. Who knows, I try to avoid the scale as much as possible. I just go off of how I feel physically and how I look. 5 lbs now looks way different than 5 lbs at 286. I can see every pound I gain very easily- it shows up at my midsection. Yes, active date for sure. I am going to start taking barre three times a week starting today; Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for now. Then in July when I switch to swim lessons on Tues/Thurs I am guessing maybe I will go on Mon/Wed.I am out doing stuff every weekend so just let me know and I will try to be better about letting you know our plans in advance in case you want to join. It's just hard with Paul's schedule sometimes we aren't able to plan ahead.
DeleteAlso, no beer or carbs is ridiculous. I am not that person. I don't deprive myself of anything. I say less beer, better carbs. That's my plan. But I don't use the word no when it comes to food or drink :)
Hi Buddy! I am feeling the same way. I can't seem to dig myself out though. I hurt my knee last week and I can't find a cardio excerise that I cn do except walking. It's very discouraging when I was soo on track right before my vacation. I don't want to get out of bed mostly because it's so comfy. I also made it to the gym last night but almost left after I got into the parking lot because I just wanted to not be there. I see a Dr. today so hopefully my knee will get figured out. In the mean time I need to be positive but it's soo damn hard!!!! GRR!!!
ReplyDeleteLove ya!