I feel like it is time for me to do a recap (of sorts) of my
second Fitbloggin conference but I am not sure really what to say or how to
start so I guess this will be more of a stream of consciousness style post than an actual recap.
First off though, I need to just say this (because this post
may end up sounding sad or whiny or something not super upbeat and positive)
that I truly did have an amazing time. No matter what I write, please know that
I do not regret attending Fitbloggin, I did have a great time at the conference
– the sessions and the time I spent with friends and I would do it all again.
And I plan on it, next year in Denver.
However, that being said, this years’ experience was soooo
different for me that I had to take a few days to really think about why. Now I
know that each year my experience will vary and I didn’t come into this
thinking that this year would be exactly like last. However, the big things I
took away from last year- mainly the interactions that lead to some deep
introspection- were missing. And because of that, my experience just wasn’t the
same.
Which sucks.
Especially when you look forward all year for the chance to
be around so many amazing people that help you progress in life.
Maybe my personal expectations were too high.
Maybe I just wasn’t in the right place to allow for the same
type of experience.
Maybe I just did Fitbloggin’ wrong this year.
I don’t know. It could be all of those things. I have been
thinking on this for days; a bit sad for missing out on an experience I was
really wishing to have.
Again, I must reiterate, I did have a great time at
Fitbloggin’. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to meet so many amazing
people, try so many new things, participate in some great workouts, and of
course eat all of the yummy Savannah food.
It really was awesome.
But something was missing. There was a void and I could feel
it.
Don’t get me wrong. I had fun. Oh so much fun! I went on a
ghost tour, went kayaking, went to a drag show, took one of those old time
photos, hung out with so many wonderful people, had amazing meals and enjoyed
the beautiful Savannah parks. I collected no less than a million hugs and took
almost as many selfies. I even met Jeff Galloway and got to spend a few minutes
talking to him about running and my recovery. It was AWESOME!
But even with all of that amazingness I still felt a bit
lost. I felt a bit disconnected. I felt a bit alone.
Even in a room full of people. Even when surrounded by
laughter and smiles and welcoming, friendly faces I still (at times) felt out
of place.
Fitbloggin’ will always be my tribe. Mah people. That will
never change.
The people attending this conference have done so many
amazing things. They are my inspiration, my role models, my peers, my community
and most importantly my friends. I am beyond fortunate to be a part of this
amazing collective. To me, fitbloggin’ feels like going home. It’s safe and
secure and happy and loving and fun and all of the good words.
I don’t know. I feel like no matter what I write I am going
to paint an inaccurate picture of this experience. I will sound ungrateful. I
will seem cold or snobby.
But I am just being honest here. I just want to take a beat
to write about what last weekend was really like for me. I wanted to reflect.
I wanted to take all of the magnificent chaos that is
Fitbloggin, digest all of my experiences, and find what it really meant to me
this year.
Last year was all about connection, acceptance, and coming
to peace with knowing that I had lost ownership of my life and finding the
courage to take it back. Last year was a big year for me. Monumentally big. It
was probably unrealistic to expect anything to come close to that again.
What I walked away with last year allowed me to make some
major life overhauls.
And it brought me to fitbloggin’ this year a different
person.
And maybe fitbloggin’ 14 wasn’t the game changer that 2013
was…
But I like to think that’s because my life now needs no
changing, no big overhauls. That 2014 Dacia is pretty freaking happy and in the
best place mentally she has ever been. And because of that, fitbloggin’ 14 was
about fun and new experiences and just living life and making the most of it
all. And you know what, that’s pretty awesome too.
So I guess what I am trying to say that Fitbloggin' this year
was different. And I think at first that difference resonated as disappointment.
But when I look back I really must say that the difference is really a good
thing. And I should not look back on
this year’s conference as what could have been but only look back as to what it
was- a loving, welcoming, amazing experience that has made me a better person
because I lived it. And this is exactly
why I love to write these stream of consciousness posts, by the time I ‘talk’
it all out I usually end up finding my ah-ha moment.
And that my friends is a really great thing J
Love and hugs,
Dacia
xoxoxoxox
I'm so thankful to have met you this year! I would agree with you, my first fitbloggin' experience in 2011 was DRASTICALLY different than the years following. I don't want to say every year they get "worse," but that's almost how I feel. But in 2011, I felt like I *needed* to be there, and my life was drastically changed by the people I met and the sessions I attended. Each year after, it still feels amazing (hugs! love! acceptance! learning! laughs!), but it's more like a vacation atmosphere than something that produces this great shift inside me. I'm not making any sense at this point. But I feel like you'll probably understand. ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's so interesting to see everyone's take on the conference. I agree that it was different than it has been in years past, but I think for me this year was the first year I made an attempt to make connections. Usually I let them happen to me, but I made the effort this year.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think you're right about it being different for you because you weren't looking to make big changes in your life this year. Maybe this was the year you helped others realize the big changes they needed to make.
I'm more than ready to see you again, that's for sure!
I think you got to why it felt different by the end of the post. You have changed so much this year and it seems like you're right where you need to be!
ReplyDeleteFor me I got more out of the sessions than last year and felt much more comfortable in the group. Last year I would not go up to people and introduce myself and this year I could.