Thursday, July 3, 2014

SOC: Fitbloggin' Edition

I feel like it is time for me to do a recap (of sorts) of my second Fitbloggin conference but I am not sure really what to say or how to start so I guess this will be more of a stream of consciousness style post than an actual recap.

First off though, I need to just say this (because this post may end up sounding sad or whiny or something not super upbeat and positive) that I truly did have an amazing time. No matter what I write, please know that I do not regret attending Fitbloggin, I did have a great time at the conference – the sessions and the time I spent with friends and I would do it all again. And I plan on it, next year in Denver.

However, that being said, this years’ experience was soooo different for me that I had to take a few days to really think about why. Now I know that each year my experience will vary and I didn’t come into this thinking that this year would be exactly like last. However, the big things I took away from last year- mainly the interactions that lead to some deep introspection- were missing. And because of that, my experience just wasn’t the same.

Which sucks.

Especially when you look forward all year for the chance to be around so many amazing people that help you progress in life.

Maybe my personal expectations were too high.

Maybe I just wasn’t in the right place to allow for the same type of experience.

Maybe I just did Fitbloggin’ wrong this year.

I don’t know. It could be all of those things. I have been thinking on this for days; a bit sad for missing out on an experience I was really wishing to have.

Again, I must reiterate, I did have a great time at Fitbloggin’. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to meet so many amazing people, try so many new things, participate in some great workouts, and of course eat all of the yummy Savannah food.  It really was awesome.

But something was missing. There was a void and I could feel it.

Don’t get me wrong. I had fun. Oh so much fun! I went on a ghost tour, went kayaking, went to a drag show, took one of those old time photos, hung out with so many wonderful people, had amazing meals and enjoyed the beautiful Savannah parks. I collected no less than a million hugs and took almost as many selfies. I even met Jeff Galloway and got to spend a few minutes talking to him about running and my recovery. It was AWESOME!

But even with all of that amazingness I still felt a bit lost. I felt a bit disconnected. I felt a bit alone.

Even in a room full of people. Even when surrounded by laughter and smiles and welcoming, friendly faces I still (at times) felt out of place.

Fitbloggin’ will always be my tribe. Mah people. That will never change.

The people attending this conference have done so many amazing things. They are my inspiration, my role models, my peers, my community and most importantly my friends. I am beyond fortunate to be a part of this amazing collective. To me, fitbloggin’ feels like going home. It’s safe and secure and happy and loving and fun and all of the good words.

I don’t know. I feel like no matter what I write I am going to paint an inaccurate picture of this experience. I will sound ungrateful. I will seem cold or snobby.

But I am just being honest here. I just want to take a beat to write about what last weekend was really like for me. I wanted to reflect.

I wanted to take all of the magnificent chaos that is Fitbloggin, digest all of my experiences, and find what it really meant to me this year.

Last year was all about connection, acceptance, and coming to peace with knowing that I had lost ownership of my life and finding the courage to take it back. Last year was a big year for me. Monumentally big. It was probably unrealistic to expect anything to come close to that again.

What I walked away with last year allowed me to make some major life overhauls.

And it brought me to fitbloggin’ this year a different person.

And maybe fitbloggin’ 14 wasn’t the game changer that 2013 was…

But I like to think that’s because my life now needs no changing, no big overhauls. That 2014 Dacia is pretty freaking happy and in the best place mentally she has ever been. And because of that, fitbloggin’ 14 was about fun and new experiences and just living life and making the most of it all. And you know what, that’s pretty awesome too.

So I guess what I am trying to say that Fitbloggin' this year was different. And I think at first that difference resonated as disappointment. But when I look back I really must say that the difference is really a good thing.  And I should not look back on this year’s conference as what could have been but only look back as to what it was- a loving, welcoming, amazing experience that has made me a better person because I lived it. And this is exactly why I love to write these stream of consciousness posts, by the time I ‘talk’ it all out I usually end up finding my ah-ha moment.

And that my friends is a really great thing J

Love and hugs,