Wednesday, November 13, 2013

My New Normal

I am trying to settle into what I am now calling my ‘new normal’.

It’s weird; a whole new life. A new place to live. A new routine.

Pretty much a new Dacia….ok, that’s sounds a bit hokey and probably a bit overdramatic too but throughout this whole process I am really starting to change. And it’s a good thing. I think I am finally starting to find ‘me’, you know?

And that was kind of the whole point. So that’s good.

But it is what it is, it’s not always easy. I don’t mean to sound like I am trivializing the impact of this divorce. I am just letting you know I am doing my best to work through it the only way I know how, by trying to take care of me. Sometimes it’s scary, sometimes it’s exciting but it is always, though, my life. If that makes sense.

I’m adjusting.

I know it will take time before this new life feels normal but it’s getting there.

And for that I am thankful.

And excited.

There is a lot to be excited about, especially in regards to my new place….mainly the location. It excites me that I can walk home from the bar at night or walk down a few blocks and grab some breakfast. I can walk to the farmers market and the bike shop. I can walk to yoga and I live directly behind the Pilates Barre studio which will be great when I start going back for private sessions. It will be especially nice when I just have to cross the street to get to the civic center for hockey games...I think it will actually be a shorter walk for me from my apartment to the arena than it is from where we normally park. That’s pretty awesome. Add in all the places to run and bike and just the general excitement of being downtown and I am pretty thrilled. Oh, and walking distance to my favorite vegan restaurant- can’t forget that! These things really help make the transition easier.

And I need those things to help me get through this. That and time with friends. Those things have really made, and will continue to make, a huge impact on my life. Nothing feels as good as a hearty belly laugh and a big warm bear hug; especially when I get nervous or anxious about these new/unfamiliar situations.

I love that I have weekly dinner dates with my friend A, or that my co-worker invited me to girl’s night at a pottery studio this Friday. She and I also have plans to go out to the caverns in January which will be awesome! I love that I have people in my life that want nothing more to help cheer me up when they see me struggling. And of course, I love the fact that I receive daily messages from friends all over the country asking about me, thinking about me, just showing genuine concern for me- I have never felt so much love than as I do right now. I am truly the luckiest girl alive to have such a wonderful and caring support system.

Right now, aside from the stress related to what seems like a never ending to-do list of divorce stuff, life is pretty good. I turned in a huge project for one of my grad classes this past weekend, which was a great relief. I am moved in and settling into my new place. I am back into a somewhat new workout routine, which I love, and was finally able to go back to boot camp last night now that I am almost 100% over this cold. I am eating better, sleeping better, and I gained 2 lbs. Yay! I love being a healthy 155 versus an unhealthy 153. Work is great and an added bonus is that I get to spend my days with some of the most amazing people who make me laugh and smile all the time. These ladies I work with, they are awesome. It makes life easier.

Today, this post is easy to write. I am happy, feeling good, optimistic (as per the usual) and want to share things about my life, happy things. Things that make me smile.

A few days ago- during parts of the move- or even yesterday- while freaking out about how to title my car in Florida as a non-Florida resident with like no proof of address (which I think I finally figured out how to do)- those were some low points. Those were times I couldn’t write about…the words wouldn’t come. I was a whole mess of emotions. The tough, not fun ones. Missing my dogs. Feeling sad for hurting Paul and fearful of possibly losing him as a friend at some point. Feeling miserable and nervous about the state of my life- being completely self-reliant for the first time in a very, very, very long time. And of course being scared of this new future, which sometimes seems rather limited now.

But those feelings pass. I find ways to bring myself back into a happy mind frame (usually drawing on the support of others to get me there) and I see the hope in what lies ahead. I see adventure, not uncertainty. I see growth and love and unlimited possibilities. And I know that in the end both Paul and I will come out of this ok.

Actually, better than ok.

And that….that helps me sleep at night.

So here it is- my new normal…thank you for being a part of it.

 Hockey Night! Go Ice Flyers!!!

 I'm always bundled up like I'm in the Arctic Tundra or something...
 Super excited for next week's cooking class!!! Pumpkin Cheesecake...Yes, please!
 Vegan brunch...still excellent even when I dine alone...go figure. Lol!
 Best part of brunch :)
 Happy for road trips to Alabama...
 Did I just say happy and Alabama in the same sentence??? Lol!
 This brewery is amazing...if you are local I highly recommend checking it out.
 Last week's dinner date with A involved some Indian food and of course, you know me, some Indian beer...
 Chocolate Peanut Butter Stout....yes, please!
 Enjoying a beer on move-in day 2 at the Brewery just a few blocks away!
 Breakfast at the Leisure Club!
 My view...can't every Monday start this way??? Ok, I'll settle for every Sunday. is never dull in Pensacola...

Love you always,