Ok, I mean I am sure that physically I can but mentally,
spiritually, whatever, I just can’t commit.
And now, when the interwebs are all a glow with piles of
miles and skinny snowmen (which are awesome challenges); I am just over here in
my corner hoping to make it to tonight’s boot camp class. There’s no run
streak, 30 day shred (well at least not 30 days continuously, lol!) or any of
that end of year push through the holidays with some sort of daily challenge
for me.
I just can’t (yeah, yeah I get it…won’t) do it.
Why? Well that’s a good question.
I think what has happened is that working with a
nutritionist who has told me to do less and eat more and somehow I weigh less
now than I have all year in over a decade (even with gaining back 2 pounds from what I lost
during the super stressful parts of the divorce) and I am having fun living a ‘normal’
life has made me not want to do anything extreme. Not if I don’t have to.
I’ll be honest with you…I still love being active (that is
something that is very important to me)...and I try to get in two boot camp
classes plus some additional cardio (running or cycling) every week…BUT I am
really enjoying not waking up at 430a-5a every day. Not working out before AND
after work. Not planning my life around a training plan. That life caused me to be too focused, too
committed. I had tunnel vision. All I could see was that one path, with only
one option.
Now…
I love my classes and runs on the track after work.
I love being able to stay out late on a Friday or Saturday
without worry of how it will mess up my training schedule.
I love not having to stress about not doing enough or not
eating everything just right or worrying I will gain 500 pounds if I have one
little beer.
I was so focused for so long on losing and training and I
was so scared that if I slowed down even the slightest I would immediately
revert to a 286 pound couch potato that I stopped living my life and just lived
the life I thought I needed to in order to stay on the ‘right path’.
Ok, so maybe that is a bit of an extreme recap of what parts
of my journey were like but those of you who know me from the very beginning
you may recall I was a bit uptight about everything.
Luckily, that behavior did get better over time as I
realized I needed balance in my life. My focus started to shift to include all
of the fun stuff I wanted to do as well. Dinners out, beers with friends,
hockey games, movies, girl’s night at the skating rink, etc., all the social things
I had been skipping out on -in addition to being active.
But even more recently, just a few months ago, I was still
being a little bit extreme with the activity levels. Somewhere in my
subconscious I must be very afraid of gaining back weight. Either that or I
became so used to working out all the time that it became second nature…not
sure. But either way, my behavior needed to change.
And change it did.
My nutritionist told me less cardio (meaning fewer workouts
per week at a shorter duration than I had been- no more 5-6+ hours a week of
straight cardio) and work towards a balance of strength training (1-2 times a
week) with a little bit of cardio thrown into the mix (like 1-2, 30 min
sessions of intervals) and to up my calorie intake to 1800/day regardless of if
I work out or not. Plus we switched up
the foods I was eating as well and voila- that was the magic mix.
At first I felt scared to move less and eat more…it went
against everything that helped me lose weight in the first place. But I listened
to the expert and was able to comfortably and happily lose weight AND I didn’t
stress about it either which made/makes life a whole lot easier. AND for the
first time I am officially at what I would call my goal weight…156 lbs. That’s
where my nutritionist wanted me and that is where I have been at or below for
almost all of November. Yay!
But I digress…
My point, and there is one I swear, is this…
Over the last couple years I had needed the focus and drive
and push from these type of challenges (or training plans) and they helped keep
me going on this journey even when it got hard. And for that I am eternally
grateful.
But this year….well, this year I am opting for something a
bit different.
Something less stressful.
Something less involved.
Something less intense.
For me, for the next month or so, I am just committing
myself to being happy, taking care of myself, having fun, celebrating life and
making sure I don’t take any of it for granted. Yes, I will still be active. Yes, I will still
plan and grocery shop and bring my meals to work. Yes, I will still put my
health first.
Of course I will.
But I will do so while drinking a beer, or spending the
afternoon at the movies, or going out with friends to dinner, or even curled up
on the couch with a cup of hot tea and some dark chocolate (watching movie
previews) and I will make sure to say to myself…damn, this life is good!
Because damn, this life really is good!
Love and kisses-
Dacia
Oh and since I forgot to say it yesterday with my Thanksgiving
wishes…Happy Hanukkah!
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