Same is true with this blog. I tend to write more frequently
when I am in good moods versus bad moods. I am sure part of that is because I
never want to have my setbacks or problems viewed as failures but another
reason is when I am not feeling great I don’t really want to do anything, blogging
included. So those down days may end up being overlooked but trust me, usually,
it’s not because I am hiding.
Yesterday wasn’t a very good day. I woke up after four
terrible hours of sleep, extremely dehydrated from the night before, and all I
wanted to do was to be a hermit. Because my fridge was pretty baron (big fail
on my part) my meals/snacks up until dinner time consisted of; two small Yukon gold
potatoes, multi-grain tortilla chips and a mini bagel. No fruits, no veggies, very little fiber.
Just starchy carbs and a smidge of fat. Yeah, the foods were easy on my stomach
but by the end of the day I was craving some vitamins. My body was literally
begging me for some vegetables. It was pretty bad.
Thankfully, even though I wanted to stay on the couch all
day and do nothing, I was still able to summon the mental strength to put
together a meal plan for the week and then the physical fortitude to stand up
and prepare all of it. I don’t know how
I won that battle but I am so glad I did. And even though I didn’t make it to
hot yoga (not wise while dehydrated) or the gym or even for a long walk (rain
all day) and even though I felt more mentally drained than I had in a very long
time (thank you lack of sleep) I still celebrated the fact that I was able to
set myself up for success this week by prepping all the meals. To me, one
missed workout is insignificant but one week of eating out or eating tons of
processed crap is a slippery slope and I do not want to go down that path if I
can avoid it.
So, even though most of yesterday may not have went as I
originally planned I have to be happy with the things I did do.
I guess my point is this- every day is not going to be ‘perfect’.
Rarely do I have days/weeks that happen exactly to schedule. It’s called life.
We all have to be able to adapt to the things we cannot predict. I still work on
trying to not have a defeatist attitude when I miss out on workouts or I don’t
make the best food choices. It happens. But I know I shouldn’t beat myself up too
much and instead take that energy and use it to make a better plan for the next
day or the next meal or the next few hours.
Spending half the day in a haze yesterday could have sent me
to the ‘screw it all’ place where I would normally just throw my hands up in
the air and not care about food, exercise (or movement of any form) or plans
and call the whole thing a wash. But that would be stupid wouldn’t it? And
probably a bit over dramatic, too. Instead I looked at the time and what I
needed/wanted to get done and set a reasonable to-do list for the few hours that
remained. That list was; make a healthy and hearty dinner (loaded with veggies, of course), food prep for the
week, and then relax watching the Emmy’s (my guilty pleasure is award shows)
before an early night’s sleep.
And that is exactly what I did.
And yes, it was really hard to force myself off that couch.
And yes, I was tired and mopey the entire time I was in the
kitchen.
But man, let me just tell you how good it felt relaxing
afterwards knowing that was one thing I did not have to be concerned about for
the rest of the week. I slept great last night and today was so much less
stressful not having to wonder what I would be eating for breakfast, lunch and
dinner. Now I am off for a run and then home to eat some chickpea and asparagus
casserole I made ahead last night.
See, it is totally possible to turn a shitty day into a
great (or at least productive) one.
I totally understand where you're coming from and wow, what you wrote really resonates with me today! I know that the depression has returned for me when everything seems "too hard", I can't seem to do anything right (in my own head), and skipping my workouts sounds like a fabulous idea. Identifying that it's back and then pushing myself to stick to the routine anyway seems to be the best remedy for me right now, but the junk is different every month so I have to stay vigilant and keep watching for when it comes back. Remembering that I used to just give in to it and wallow for days (and how much longer it used to last as a result) helps me see how far I've actually come.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Denise...it's never easy to talk about the hard stuff. It's also important to focus on the progress (like you said) and say yeah, I may have gave in to it for a day but it used to be a whole week and maybe next time it will be half a day. That's a great way to look at it!
Delete