Sliding Board

I’ve been thinking a lot about my weight loss/get healthy/fitness journey getting back to where I was a year ago. You know, back before working all the time and then suffering through two ridiculous injuries. Back into the groove I used to thrive in.

Today the realization hit me that I have gained back just under 40% of my weight loss. That number hurts my heart. Not because I feel fat or hate the idea of being the weight that I currently am but because I know what it took to lose it all and how ‘easy’ it was to gain 40% of it back.

Now I should start by saying, I am still super proud of maintaining that loss for almost 5 years. And maybe had I never gotten injured I would still be kicking ass in maintenance mode. But that is not what happened. And now I am here. Fighting every day to get back to that place where I once was. Not necessarily a weight but a lifestyle. An active and healthy lifestyle that I enjoyed so much.

After three weeks of focusing my energy into making better decisions – eating more whole foods and moving my body more- I had a really rough two days where I just did not GAF. My eating wasn’t off the rails, although it could have been better, but that wasn’t the issue. The issue was I just had this gloomy “I really don’t care anymore” feeling that I could not shake.

Even getting up today took a solid hour of convincing that I needed to get out of bed and get my booty to work.

My journey towards health has always been a mental battle more so than physical. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy exercising at 300 lbs and it really isn’t easy now either at 200 lbs as my fitness level is super low. BUT the physical hurdles were (are) nothing when I compare them with the mental battles.

Now whether or not this is true I am not sure, but it certainly feels to me that I can ‘lose’ any mental battle way faster than I can the physical ones.

When I think of my biggest struggles (convincing myself I am worth it and then motivating myself to have my actions reflect that belief) I picture a sliding board.

Convincing myself I deserve to be healthy and fit and talking myself into doing the ‘right’ things can some days feel like I am climbing up a sliding board. Here I am at the bottom feeling low, and trying to get back to a healthy, positive, loving, caring mindset is a series of small, challenging steps. I need strength to push forward and I need focus to stay the course. Each day am navigating myself to the top of the slide- to that place where I need to be.

But then I take a misstep, I give up on myself, and boom! I am quickly back on the bottom of the slide. Usually I stay here for a day or two (or week or month) before I turn back around and start to climb again.

It seems so easy to slide back down when you are barely strong enough to climb.

I know that I every time I fall I am not falling to the bottom. And I know that every time I start to climb it will get easier. Even when I think about my sliding board now I know it is not nearly as steep or as long as the one I set out to climb 6+ years ago. I’m a different person now, so my life challenges are different too. Maybe my sliding board is more like this one:

Side note: I grew up calling this a sliding board but apparently that is a regional term and most people call this a slide. Hopefully the title of this post was not too confusing for you :) 

I do feel like this time around it has been more challenging. I am not sure if that is because the circumstances are so different or if it is because I feel like I lost so much this past year or if it is because I cannot envision what my healthy lifestyle will look like now that I have so many activity restrictions. Probably a mixture of it all.

I think that 6 years ago it seemed easier because I had nowhere else to go but up. I was super lazy with terrible eating habits. Something, no matter how small of a change, was so much better than where I had been. Now the changes I need to make aren’t huge, I mean even at my worst during the injury, I still packed my breakfast and lunch every day. I did eat some processed foods but not a ton. I was probably closer to 60/40 than 80/20 but I still rarely drank or ate out. I was just completely inactive. And that is what led me here today.

Maybe I just have too many expectations of what my life should be based on where my life used to be. I think maybe I just need new expectations, new goals, and new dreams instead of wishing back the life I used to have.

Tomorrow I see my doctor for my semi-annual checkup and will get back the lab results from my blood work I had last week. My last check up back in the fall, even though I had already started to gain weight from the injury, my doctor was still super impressed with my lab work results. She said she was not concerned with the weight gain because I was internally the picture of health. I wonder how much they have changed after a solid 6 months of no activity….

I will let you know tomorrow.

Lastly, I really need to thank you for allowing me a place to talk about these deeply personal feelings. Trust me, although it may sound really negative I merely want to showcase the side of the battle I am fighting right now. We all have our own hurdles, and right now this is mine. It’s no different than yours. But when I talk about mine it helps me to put things in perspective and begin to really focus on the underlying struggles and issues. Because at the end of the day, I want to be healthy again. I want to be fit and full of energy. I want to treat my body, mind and spirit the way that they deserve to be treated because I only have one life. And I intend to live it fully.

xoxox,

Dacia 

Today *the original title was too long

Aside from taking care of my sick puppy and then scraping the heck out of my heel on some brick, I was having an awesome morning. I had an appointment to see my chiropractor at 730a so I am feeling pretty great right now. Plus, he is just the nicest guy so I always enjoy my time there. Thursday’s are usually very stressful days for me – they are almost always the busiest work day of the week and then when I am home I am usually swamped with LuLaRoe party stuff. That means I usually end up going to bed much, much later than my norm and waking up much, much earlier on Friday- to take care of business stuff -before I leave for work. During a typical week I pretty much feel a little more exhausted every day from working during the day and night every day and by the time Saturday hits I am a full on zombie. If I am lucky, my body will let me sleep in on Sunday but usually my internal clock has a different idea.

For the past few weeks, as we are starting to prepare to close up our LuLaRoe shop, we have been able to step back a bit and make a little more time for ourselves. Did I tell you why are we closing our business? We are in the process of getting ready to put our house on the market because we have a contract down on a new build home that should be ready sometime this fall. 

We knew that once our house was on the market (hopefully by June 1) we would not be able to run our LuLaRoe business again until we were settled into our new home later this year. It would be a logistical nightmare to try and make it work so we made the difficult decision to close. The close may be temporary, or it may be permanent- we still don’t know for sure. But I am trying not to stress about that. Or the 1,000 pieces of clothing I need to sell before we list our home. Or what this means for my LuLaRoe group and the connection I have made with some of the most amazing women. I am trying to not stress over any of that.

Which you know that means I am absolutely stressed over all of it.

Which is why I am trying to get into a daily meditation routine and am practicing daily self-care acts.

It’s also why I am trying to eat better and be more active.

And why I am trying to spend more time with friends and Erick and have a ‘normal’ life again.

Now more than ever I need to control the things in my life that are controllable and try to NOT STRESS over the ones that are not.

So today I am going to start something I hope to be able to do weekly- a ‘what I am going to do to take care of  myself today’ post.

Today I will:

1.       Take a walk out in the beautiful sun during my lunch break and literally stop and smell the flowers

2.       Stand at my desk (I now have a variable height desk, post injury) for a total of 4 hours

3.       Eat an amazingly yummy and healthy dinner with Erick and NOT have my phone out at the table (which is pretty hard to do when you run an online business)

4.       Jump on my fitness trampoline for 20 minutes

5.       Meditate

6.       And most importantly (and the most difficult)- I WILL NOT STRESS EAT!!!

Those are my six goals for today to help me feel good about myself, find balance between work and self-care, and end the day on a positive note.

What are you doing for yourself today?

xoxox

Dacia

Why Now?

Is it weird to come back to blogging in a time where blogs are kind of a thing of the past? Are blogs a thing of the past? I hear it is all about microblogging now. I really don’t know what that means- small blogs is my best guess. LOL!

Honestly, it’s ok if no one reads this.

My main goals is just to write.

I never really expected anyone to read my blog posts for the five years prior so now isn’t really any different.

I just need to write again.

Why?

Because a) it’s kind of unfair to Erick to have me dump every thought and emotion on him solely all the time. Poor guy, I am sure he misses me writing too. So reason A is really that I need another outlet.

But the main reason, I guess reason B, is that even though I have an outlet (and I am sure I have more outlets than just the hubs but sometimes I suck at communicating the hard stuff) there is still so much I have been burying inside. And when I do that it’s only me stuck with those thoughts. Those thoughts, which could be perfectly harmless had I just said them to someone else and had a normal conversation about them (or wrote about them in my blog), then turn to damaging thoughts.

Because those hidden thoughts and emotions had time to fester they’ve turned from something maybe a little negative to something off the charts negative. I have spent far too much time over this past year telling myself I was a failure. That I was disgusting. That I was not good enough. And you know what happened? I started to believe that.

I lost hope in myself.

I conceded.

I believed that was that and I was just destined to go back to that person I was six years ago. That girl that sat on the sidelines and passively watched her life pass her by.

I lost my identity.

And I gave up.

For months and months I just gave up. I was broken. I would never heal. I would never be that girl that ran back to back half marathons or finished a triathlon or would ride 50 miles on her bike just for fun. That girl was gone and she wasn’t coming back. And I had no fucking clue how to process that.

I don’t know what happened to bring me there or when I hit my breaking point but rock bottom came and that familiar feeling- that one I felt 6 years ago when I started this ‘journey’- hit me like a ton of bricks.

I didn’t give up six years ago. And I won’t give up now.

Life is so much more than race medals. I cannot run and I will probably never run again. But I am so much more than that.

And I can do so much more than that.

I just have to get there.

Baby steps.

Just like 6 years ago.

Baby steps.

I need this now the same way I needed it then. I need an outlet. I need a space to share everything. And  I need to be able to tell myself that I will be ok. I will get stronger and healthier, I will change my life again. And if I keep telling myself enough times I know I will start to believe it.

Baby steps.

xoxox,

Dacia

Mic Check...Is This Thing On?

Wow! It has certainly been awhile, huh? (I won't tell you that it took me 10 minutes to figure out how to log into my Blogger account. SMDH)

Let me take a minute to wipe off some of the dust that gathered on this ole bloggy blog and then we can get started.

The last we saw each other I was celebrating my five year blogiversary by apparently never blogging again. LOL! I have not written a new post in over a year, and yes the last post was my 5 year post. Kind of weird, right?

Maybe from the outside, yes. But something big happened just a few weeks after my 5 year post that changed my life completely. In early March 2016 I signed up to become a consultant with LuLaRoe (super amazing clothes that helped me to feel comfortable in my skin and find my self-confidence) which on the surface seems like maybe not too big of a deal, right? It’s just direct sales- no big deal, right? Nope, it is a huge undertaking that I have spent 40+ hours a week on top of my full time job and still working on my doctorate running this new business.

I was (and still am) ridiculously busy. It’s a lot. At least, a lot for me.

We (Erick and I- he is pretty much my business partner in LuLaRoe) live our life with no margins. (See post here: http://carlabirnberg.com/2017/04/10/the-importance-of-living-with-margins/) We have said no to so many life events, passed up on spending time with friends, no vacations, just work, work, work 95% of the time. *We do try to take 12 hours to ourselves on the weekend when we can although I am still always connected and never really ‘off’. I am not complaining, I love my business, but I can say with certainty that I did not know exactly how time consuming this would be when I signed up.

And of course, you can probably guess what else has been sacrificed over the past year- our eating and exercise habits. Long gone were the days where I would make every meal from scratch and in its place is junk food/ convenience foods I can make super quick before I need to get back to work. Our gym routine went out the window early on as working every night made it impossible to get up early to hit the gym. Sleep has been complete crap too.

And then, late last August/early September I hurt my hip and back and that made that whole terrible lifestyle situation even worse. A tear in my superior labrum and bursitis in my hip, coupled with degenerative disc disease and bugling discs which created a mess with my sciatica, I got to the point where I could barely even move my right leg.

Doctors, steroids, Orthopedist, Chiropractor, physical therapy, more steroids and after months and months of pain, extremely limited activity and terrible side effects from the steroids I am FINALLY finished with PT and meds (well, only as needed) and am cleared for light activity. Yay!!!

So why am I telling you all this? Because this past year has really changed my life to the point where I don’t even recognize myself. And I don’t just mean that because I have gained weight (which I have, a whopping 50 lbs in one year!) I mean that the person I was, and worked so hard to become, the one that loves to be active, eat well to fuel her body, and focuses on taking care of her mental well being- seems to be gone. Or maybe just buried.

After a rough start in March where I found myself on antibiotics and feeling like a hot mess, I finally started to take some action and control back in my life. Right now, for April, I am focusing on daily, weekly, and monthly goals that are slightly challenging yet still doable. I am using the Goal Digger tracking sheet from Brooke’s blog (Link: http://brookenotonadiet.com/2014/07/11/goal-digger-free-printable/).  I tack my steps and sleep on my Garmin, my water intake on the Plant Nanny app and am even trying to move back to food tracking using My Fitness Pal.

Week one for April was pretty good and I am hoping week two will be even better. I have also started meditating at night. I am trying to work my way up to making that a daily habit. My exercise right now is mainly walking but I am hoping to start a 3 week yoga program in the next couple weeks. I also bought a fitness trampoline for some low impact exercise. AND once I close up my LuLaRoe shop (more on that some other time) I want to get back into weekly bike rides like we used to go on every weekend. I am trying to slowly re-introduce things and not try to take it too fast because I really, really, really don’t want to reinjure myself. So I am definitely baby stepping back into fitness.

Meal planning has been going really well and I love having time again to cook every day. I am really looking forward to summer and grilling out a lot. We tend to eat more lighter foods in the hotter temps and it is really helpful when I am trying to not overindulge too much.

Oh, and I am also doing a self-care challenge in my LuLaRoe group for the month of April and taking time each day to focus on me...it is such an amazing feeling. A daily self-care routine was very much needed! 

I have so much I want to talk about right now but I don’t want to make this post any longer than it already is. But I really hope to get back into a blogging routine. I need the accountability. It was so amazingly helpful the first time around. And right now I am trying so hard to fall back on the good habits that got me to a 130 lb weight loss. I know it’s not starting over, but honestly some days it does feel that way. I just keep telling myself- it’s not a new book, just a new chapter.

xoxox

Dacia 

FIVE YEARS!!!

So….we are just a few days away from March and I realized that this is only my second post for the YEAR! Can you believe it? I am sucking at this whole blogging regularly thing lately.

I have been blogging for 5 years now and what started as a nearly daily occurrence has dwindled to a once a month thing, sometimes even less frequently. That’s just life I guess. When I first started out (FIVE YEARS AGO- seriously cannot believe that!) I had a lot more focus and my writing had purpose- to keep me accountable. Now, I am much more set in my ways. My lifestyle is just that, it is ingrained into me. Yeah, some days (weeks) are better than others but even at my worst I am far better off than I was five years ago. My friends call it ‘health conscious’ and I love that term. Even my ‘junk food’ or ‘off days’ look nothing like the crap I used to put in my body on the regular before I knew better.

I can say without a doubt that blogging has changed my life for the better. Because of it I found my support group, the world’s best cheerleaders, and some of the most amazing friends. My community, both online and in real life, is amazing. It has allowed me to open up and connect with others that share my interests and struggles that I otherwise would have never met. That right there is priceless.

I lost weight, yes, but it was so much more than that. I gained my health back. I added years to my life. I ADDED LIFE TO MY YEARS! I stopped being so fucking afraid of everything. I stopped hating myself. I stopped feeling ashamed and embarrassed of how I looked or how I thought others perceived me. I found acceptance, self-love and I did so without having to lose weight first. I fell in love with me at one of my heaviest weights and was able to continue that through my lowest weight and every weight in between.

The adventures….oh there have been so many! Fitbloggin’, weekend trips, hiking with friends, slow rides, running races (still can’t get over this) including and most special to my heart – the Ragnar Relay in Cape Cod. Heck- I was even in a magazine!!! (And a book). Me. The girl that wasn’t sure she could do much of anything has ended up doing more than she could have imagined.

When I started writing five years ago I doubt this is what I had pictured for my future self. I am not even sure I believed that was capable of changing my life but I knew I had to try. My life literally depended on it.  And I knew that I needed to ask for help, I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own. And that is what I did. I asked you to help me, to support me, to listen, to lend me advice and input and you did. And for that I am eternally grateful.

It has been five years.

Five amazingly wonderful, empowering, heartbreaking, humbling, fan-fucking-tastic years. It’s been everything I had hoped for and more. I feel like I have learned more about myself and about life over these past five years than I had in the 33 previous. There is so much growth that happens through openness. I can only hope that these next five years bring me as much love and happiness as the last.

Again, thank you for your love and support and for coming here and reading. It means more than you will ever know.

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxox

My Little Devil

Yesterday I shared a password protected post from which I received a lot of feedback, surprisingly. If you’d like to read it just ask and I will send you the password. Although the post was mostly me just venting about stuff that’s been on my mind I was happy to see I was not alone. A friend of mine messaged me after she read it and I wanted to share our conversation because I feel like so many can relate.

J: I feel the exact same way. I was just talking to a friend of mine. I’m so damn sick of thinking about food, making good choices, getting activity, water levels, why I’m doing certain things, blah, blah, blah. But I feel like I’ll never get to not think about it. 

Me: yeah, it's tough. You want to care but not obsess but you also don't want to be complacent but you also don't want to overdo it but you also need to relax and be normal but then this is your normal and this normal is obnoxious so you care less and then you get complacent and then you freak out because you have gotten complacent and so you obsess....and on and on and on....

Me: not to be all doomsday

J: haha no, it’s just the truth! And that’s just the thinking, then you actually have to DO things!

Me: YESSSS....doing the things. Always a battle in my mind. Couch vs gym...bed vs pavement. Never just is. It is always think think think dissect plan think more

J: I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's nice to know that.

Are you this way too? As much as I know I am healthier and feel better when I am being active and making good diet choices it is still always a battle. I mean, I am lucky and being active and eating healthy win out most days but seriously COMFORT > DISCOMFORT. It will always be harder to get out of a warm bed at 5a to go run than it is to stay and sleep, no matter how much I love to run. I will always have to talk myself into going to the gym after work because going home and sitting on the couch will always sound better, even when I know I will feel a million times better if I choose the former over the latter. Which is why I go

This is just my truth…

Pizza and beer will always sound better than salad and water

Snuggling on the couch watching TV will always sound better than the gym

Sleeping in on Saturday morning will always sound better than getting up hours before dawn to run so many miles that an ice bath is required afterwards

Comfort always sounds better…ALWAYS

I mean come on, that’s why there are yoga work pants now. Seriously, if I could wear leggings to work every day I would. I like comfort. Who doesn’t?

But that doesn’t mean I choose comfort all day, every day. I just can’t. Because I know that if I did I would end up back where I started which was a rough place to be. All that comfort brought me to a place where I was super limited by my weight and my body was taking a huge toll because of it.

I know I have to make the tough choices every day because those are what allow me to be healthy, active and, for once, happy.

Yeah, I still eat pizza, drink beer, watch TV, and sleep in. But not every day. Most days it’s salad, gym, and early mornings. And that’s ok. It’s actually the best way for me to live.

That being said, don’t take my actions to mean that I don’t constantly have to think about my decisions. Or fight that little devil on my shoulder telling me to have another beer, skip the gym or stay in bed. That little monster was conditioned on my prior laziness and he fights me every day. Some days I want him to win, some days I give in and some days I can quiet him. But he never goes away.

And because I think some (maybe most) of you can relate I just wanted to share this with you.

These pretty accurately represent my devil and angel...LOL

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxox

WW Weekly Recap: Weeks 17 & 18

I am officially late, again, with my weekly update. Last week, I was so far behind I decided to not even post one and instead combine it with this week’s update. Then I got sick ("The sickness! It’s happening!") and here I am almost through another week and no update posted. But better late than never right?

Last week I talked about giving myself daily, weekly and monthly goals to help get me through the next four weeks, in this post. Of course, come day 2 I found myself sick and so there were three days spent in bed doing nothing but coughing, sneezing and sleeping. I am starting to feel better but still a bit zombie like. Yesterday I had a deep cleaning done at the dentist which required a Valium and Novocain and I am still a bit groggy from that. And my mouth hurts. So yeah, this week has been a bit of a suckfest.

I did however, manage to start tracking again yesterday and even though I haven’t worked out this week (if it’s in the chest, you better rest- that’s the rule of thumb I follow) and  my step count has been abysmal,  I have definitely done really great with the sleep part. I am averaging a solid 10+ hours a night. And when I was home from work, at least another 6 hours during the day. Yeah, being awake is definitely the toughest part of working while sick.

Anywho, I can’t help it when things like this happen. I just have to ride it out and make the best of it. I know that when I am feeling better things will get back on track. Right now, I am just focused on my health. That comes first, always. The scale- well, it will always be there.

Soooo, back to the whole point of this post- my weekly weigh ins. I managed to see two small losses these past two weeks:

On 11/7 I weighed in at 169.0 which was a loss of 0.8 and then on 11/14 I weighed in at 168.2 for another loss of 0.8. Still hanging out below 170 but not yet back to where I was at the end of September. BUT, I really can’t complain the numbers are still trending downward and I am still quite confident I am making good choices and supporting a healthy lifestyle, when not sick, and that is really what matters most.

For next week, my goal is to get back to working on my daily/weekly/monthly goals and hopefully get some energy back. Why does it seem to take FOREVER to get over a cold? I am soooo over it! ;)

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxox 

It's the 4 Week Countdown!

I’m leaving in 4 weeks for my honeymoon. We’ll be spending 2 weeks in Cabo. It’s going to be amazeballs. When we get back we will be heading out again to spend the rest of the holiday with E’s family so we will pretty much be gone for three weeks. I can’t believe it, it is going to be the absolute best way to close out the most amazing year!

But I am nervous, though. Not gonna lie. I am worried that I am sliding into the vacation mindset already and I still have a month before it is here. I need to switch back into weight loss mode. I need to keep paying attention to my choices, I need to bring back mindfulness into my life.

So I decided I needed a challenge – something to help keep me motivated and moving these next four weeks. I really wanted to do Brooke’s Skinny Snowman Challenge but since I will be out of the country for a big chunk of it (during which I will be completely disconnected from social media) I thought it better to come up with something I can start right now. Even if it is just me participating.

However, I am still using Brooke as my inspiration for this challenge since I am going to steal use her Goal Digger chart to track my goals. You can download your own copy here of the free printable. The way Brooke set it up is you have daily, weekly, and monthly goals. This is perfect for me to help bring back that focus to weight loss during the holiday/end of semester/about to vacation madness.

My month (well, four weeks actually) will start tomorrow, Saturday, November 14^th and run through Friday, December 11^th- the day before we leave for Cabo. Perfect timing, right?

My goals for these next four weeks are:

Daily

Track every day- WW and MFP

Hit step goal – determined by Garmin, based on average movement

At least 7 hours sleep a night

Follow meal plan for the day

Weekly

Workout 5 times/week (minimum 30 minutes)

Drinkend ONLY (no beer except on the weekend- exception being Thanksgiving)

80/20 with meals (limited to 4 meals out a week)

Write weekly WW post for accountability

Monthly

Lose 5 pounds

Follow HM training plan (starts 11/23)

Attend 2 yoga and/or fitness classes

Ok, so now I am all set with my goals. I know I can bring back some focus and mindfulness if I just make the choices that will help me to achieve these goals. I think this is exactly what I need for the next four weeks- recommitting to myself; my journey and my health.

Want to join me? Let me know in the comments if you will be participating too. J

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxox

WW Weekly Recap: Week 16

Week 16

Yeah, I had to go back and count. I had no idea what week last week was/this week is but now I do.

I can’t believe it has almost been 4 months since I re-joined WW. Even with the post ACL/antibiotics/injury/wedding mayhem gain I am still over 10 pounds down from where I started. I am 12.2 pounds down to be exact. I will call that a win!

Oh, sorry- horse before the cart. I am at a total of 12.2 lbs down because I gained a whopping 0.4 lbs this week. LOL. Yeah, we’ll just call that ‘staying the same’. And for a week of very little activity and eating so/so I am 1000000% ok with ‘staying the same’.

I would like to get back into losing again but really, I just want to get back into my healthy habits that keep me sane. I am pretty good with meal planning/cooking/packing lunches – even during the crazy busy times. Yeah, sometimes I eat out more than I would prefer and sometimes I drink more than I should but those are not my norm. The norm is still packing breakfast and lunch M-F, eating dinner at home S-Th and then some meals out on the weekend and this week is no different. Smoothies for breakfast, apples and bananas for morning snacks, soup for lunches, edamame for afternoon snack and some awesome meals planned from JL Goes Vegan’s pressure cooker cookbook. Oh and can’t forget, dark chocolate and tea at night.

This week I am looking to get in some more activity though. I plan on getting in two runs during the week (plus I have a HM on Sunday), two days of Cize and then a long bike ride on Saturday- if the weather cooperates. I also brought one of my bikes to work with me to keep in my office. This way I can go for rides during my lunch break and even to/from meetings. Hopefully I can get into the habit of getting a few daytime rides in every week.

I also am still balancing school, work, and life also which means it can’t always be about my training schedule or my preferred meal options. I need to make sure I still have time for schoolwork, self-care and relationship care <<< that’s a thing right? I mean, it should be even if no one actually calls it that.

I decided though that I want to get back into the habit of posting weekly goals with my update. I like the added focus to my plans but also I like being able to tailor them around the weekly events in my life. Monthly goals, sometimes, are just too long to plan for. A week at a time tends to be much more my speed. So here they are, some goals for week 17:

Monday 11/2 through Sunday 11/8

100,000 steps 

Track every day

30 minutes of movement 5 days/week

Some form of self-care (reading, bubble bath, stretching/meditation) at least twice

Finish homework before the weekend

Stick to Sunday-Friday meal plan

Ok, that’s about all I have for today. I will definitely be checking in with you next week for an update and it will hopefully include a happy recounting of my half marathon J

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxox

Hellloooooo....

I had thought about trying to make this one of those ‘if you and I were having coffee together I’d tell you…’ posts but really this is just a brain dump of me trying to play catch-up. It has been over a MONTH! Can you believe it? I mean, I knew I would be taking a hiatus but man- that was a long one.

Well, first and foremost. I should introduce myself. Hi, I’m Dacia Larin…that’s right. I got hitched! On 10/17 Erick and I made it official. There are not enough stories, pictures, videos, etc. from that day to adequately paint the picture of how amazing it was. The whole weekend was perfect- start to finish. I haven’t gotten my official wedding photos yet but I have a collection of about 300 compiled from ones I took myself plus those from people that attended out on FB, I have a few on IG, and I have this super amazing slideshow that Dre, our friend and photographer, put together. In case you want to see inside our wedding day.

Wedding Slideshow

Password: larootwedding

Some of my favorites from the wedding

I do hope that one day I can sit down and tell you all about the wedding weekend. Although it would probably need to be like a 4 part post. If you are interested at all in me doing that please let me know.

Since I have been away I finished up one of the two courses I was taking this semester. I actually took my final from my hotel room in Austin. That’s right- I haven’t posted since before ACL.  So much I am behind on. And wrapped up my final project the week before my wedding. Needless to say taking an 8 week accelerated course while planning and finalizing a wedding was not a great idea for my mental well-being. But I survived. And I got an A!

A crazy thing happened while I was in Austin…I cut my foot open on a rusty nut on a bolt sticking out of the sidewalk. There must have been a sign bolted down at some point and then removed and the bolts were left behind. Who knows, it was totally random. This required a trip to urgent care, a tetanus shot and a 10 day supply of antibiotics. That was so not awesome. It happened Sunday morning on the way to breakfast so Sunday at ACL was interesting. Definitely not how I wanted to end the most amazing ACL trip ever. All in all it was still an amazing time and I managed to make through almost all of Sunday’s shows- I just had to deal with the pain, the shoe issues and the gross antibiotics feelings for a while afterwards.

Sad to say it but I think next year will be Lollapalooza for us since it coincides with Fitbloggin' in Indy...ACL 2017 for sure! 

What else, what else…

Oh, weight loss.

Hmmmm….

Well, I am back at it again. Tracking, meal planning- the whole shebang. I gained a lot after/from ACL (I blame some of it on beers and burritos every day but I also blame those damn antibiotics) and then with the wedding life was just a bit too crazy for me to care. When I wasn’t traveling or wedding’ing I made the best choices I could- I cooked meals at home, I got in exercise when I could, I tracked, but during those other times- not a fuck was given. #truth Weight Watchers was the last thing on my mind.

I have gone back in and updated my weight loss tracking page for the last 4 weigh-ins I didn’t write about and I also updated my goals. A lot has changed in a month….more so than just my name.

So here I am. About a week back into my normal-ish routine and I am still working on it. The meal planning/prepping is almost always like second nature and I am pretty good at bouncing back into 80/20 but the activity is where I am losing focus. I just don’t know what I want to do right now. Yoga? Cize? I want to ride my bike all the time but I am limited there although I am planning on bringing one of my bikes to work so I can ride around during the day. I don’t feel like running – boring- and I don’t feel like even going to the gym. I just want to cuddle with my HUSBAND and our puppy and do that all the time. Why isn’t that enough? I am also cursing daylight standard (that's what this is right?) time for coming this weekend to steal my after work sunshine. Ugh! I hate this time of year.

Anywho that is where I am right now. Still working, still taking classes, still working on my weight loss mojo just now I am doing so as a married woman. Which really doesn’t change much of anything, I just like to talk about being married.

I will be back soon to check in after this weekend’s weigh-in and will hopefully have some fun Halloween pics to share with you and maybe even some ideas about how to get my fitness groove back. If you know how, please do tell ;)

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxox

WW Weekly Recap: Week 10

Week 10…

A loss of 4.4 pounds.

Crazy big number and not one I would normally be thrilled with (because it is too high, imho) however, we all know how weight loss goes. And when I look at the big picture, in four weeks I lost a total of five pounds. This 4.4 is basically three weeks of what would equal a normal/average loss just shown on the scale all at once.

This loss brings me to a total of 15 pounds lost since 7/13 and it puts me just one pound away from the top of my healthy weight range. Woo hoo!

I have never been one to experience huge losses on the scale- not even early on in my journey- so I have been quite comfortable with the slow and steady progression. Right now I am averaging 1.5 pounds lost a week and that is perfect in my mind. I know that, for me, losing at a faster rate would require drastic measures and that’s just not my style. Those type of extreme behaviors are not sustainable and will, ultimately, lead to a quick regain. Thankfully this whole refocus on my regimen is helping me bring back to the forefront those healthy habits that I need to keep practicing daily.

I did great with my step goal for the week! 

I’m not saying I need to be super strict and have laser focus to every little detail but I can’t keep playing loose and fast with my life. When I don’t pay attention or I stop caring it shows. It shows not just on the scale but in how I feel both mentally and physically. Not saying that I am currently a ray of sunshine every day now, but I know if I wasn’t focusing on my healthy habits now I would be a lot worse off.

With the wedding quickly approaching, just a little over 3 weeks away, I have a lot on my plate. I will try to check in on the blog during those weeks but in case I can’t I will at least try to update you with my weekly weigh in results on the FB page. Just to give you an idea of my schedule here is what I have coming up:

Final (hopefully) dress fitting – 9/26

Final (hopefully) make up appointment – 9/27

Trip to Austin – leave after work 9/30 return 10/5

Final Exam – 10/5

Final Project Due – 10/9

Ani Concert – 10/10

Cize Teacher Training – 10/11

Democratic Debate Viewing Party – 10/13

Pre-wedding stuff ALL DAY, EVERY DAY ;) 10/15 & 10/16

WEDDING – 10/17

Post-wedding celebration 10/18 & 10/19

…and then die from exhaustion

Just kidding

I hope….

With all that is going on I still have to work, finish up a grad course, help my Little Brother train for his kids marathon, train for my own half marathon and finalize a lot of wedding stuff. (Not complaining- just stating facts)

So here’s the thing. I am still meal planning, planning out my workouts and setting goals for myself I just know that in the next few weeks I will have to be much more flexible. I am finishing up Cize week two and half marathon week 4 this week but I have had to make some concessions in the name of school work- it trumps training plans. I also know how difficult it will be to stick to either routine while traveling next week so I will just do the best I can.

When I am home I vow to cook/meal prep and schedule time for activity. When I am traveling I vow to squeeze in activity in some form and make the best choices available to me. When it is wedding time I vow to just get out of my head and enjoy the time with family, friends and of course MY HUSBAND.

So there you have it – my super late week 10 recap. I started this post on Monday….it took me four days to finish it. Yep, that’s just life these days.

I will try to report back when I can. Follow me on IG or Facebook for wedding and ACL pics.

Until the next time…

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxox

WW Weekly Recap: Week 9

Week 9 has come and gone and although it wasn’t what I had hoped it to be, weight loss wise, I am not letting my weight gain and missed goals stop me from trying again this week.

So how did last week go? Well, it started off strong but then got a bit crazy by the end. My goals for last week were to:

Complete week two of half marathon training – yes! Although I had to move the long run to Sunday I did not miss a single run this week

Train with M for the kids marathon- yup! We logged another two miles last week

Go to the gym twice with Anna- yeppers! Day 1 I did my warm up on the treadmill followed by a 5K on the rowing machine (in just under 25 minutes) and day 2 was 5 miles on the treadmill (as part of HM training)

Track everyday- Yesiree! Even when it got a bit out of hand and hard to remember (cough, cough – beer fest)

90K steps or more- Nope!  I fell just over 5K short on this goal. I would have crushed it if I had kept my long run on Saturday. NBD, it happens. This week’s step count will be super high J

Try to limit how much I drink at the beer fest- Kind of…I probably could have been better, I definitely could have been worse. Actually, the drinking wasn’t really the bad part- the snacking and 10p dinner out was what got me and the scale showed it.

Ignore my weird sausage toes...LOL!

You see, I debated on whether or not to weigh in Friday morning instead of Saturday since I knew I would be out drinking and eating late Friday night. Friday morning I weighed in at 170.0 (a gain of 0.4) but I opted to not record it. Instead I weighed in Saturday morning at 171.4- a gain of 1.8 for the week. Eh, it happens. And it was kind of expected. It had been 6 weeks since my last gain, it was only a matter of time.

Emerald Coast Beer Fest- always a great time! 

The important part- I just keep focusing on healthy habits and actions, even when life is tough. It’s no secret that I have been feeling a lot of stress lately. For me, now is the time I really need to be more conscious about the decisions I am making. Even though eating half a bag of tortilla chips and a tub of salsa seemed like a good idea in the moment (this happened Saturday) it only made me feel worse, physically and mentally. Sunday was spent recuperating from treating my body like shit but making sure I got in my long run, taking care of a ton of wedding stuff, meal planning and prepping, and a little relaxation on the beach (which was actually part of wedding stuff) helped to get my mind right.

View along my long run- the church where E and I will be married... <3

Vegan brunch at End of the Line- my favorite!

Salt Life

Gordie is my co-pilot...

This week there are some changes ahead which you will see in my goals…

Complete Cize Week 1 (yup, I am back at it. I loved it so much I just needed to bring it back into the routine)

Love me some Cize!!!

Complete Week 3 HM Training

Track Everyday

Log 100,000 steps

Catch Up on Schoolwork – I am falling behind (which is so unlike me) and that is adding to the stress

Try a New Recipe

Complete Photo-A-Day Challenge the 15^th-19^th

Feel free to join in and use the hashtag if you post on social media :)

Until next week….

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxox