My Little Devil

Yesterday I shared a password protected post from which I received a lot of feedback, surprisingly. If you’d like to read it just ask and I will send you the password. Although the post was mostly me just venting about stuff that’s been on my mind I was happy to see I was not alone. A friend of mine messaged me after she read it and I wanted to share our conversation because I feel like so many can relate.

J: I feel the exact same way. I was just talking to a friend of mine. I’m so damn sick of thinking about food, making good choices, getting activity, water levels, why I’m doing certain things, blah, blah, blah. But I feel like I’ll never get to not think about it. 

Me: yeah, it's tough. You want to care but not obsess but you also don't want to be complacent but you also don't want to overdo it but you also need to relax and be normal but then this is your normal and this normal is obnoxious so you care less and then you get complacent and then you freak out because you have gotten complacent and so you obsess....and on and on and on....

Me: not to be all doomsday

J: haha no, it’s just the truth! And that’s just the thinking, then you actually have to DO things!

Me: YESSSS....doing the things. Always a battle in my mind. Couch vs gym...bed vs pavement. Never just is. It is always think think think dissect plan think more

J: I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's nice to know that.

Are you this way too? As much as I know I am healthier and feel better when I am being active and making good diet choices it is still always a battle. I mean, I am lucky and being active and eating healthy win out most days but seriously COMFORT > DISCOMFORT. It will always be harder to get out of a warm bed at 5a to go run than it is to stay and sleep, no matter how much I love to run. I will always have to talk myself into going to the gym after work because going home and sitting on the couch will always sound better, even when I know I will feel a million times better if I choose the former over the latter. Which is why I go

This is just my truth…

Pizza and beer will always sound better than salad and water

Snuggling on the couch watching TV will always sound better than the gym

Sleeping in on Saturday morning will always sound better than getting up hours before dawn to run so many miles that an ice bath is required afterwards

Comfort always sounds better…ALWAYS

I mean come on, that’s why there are yoga work pants now. Seriously, if I could wear leggings to work every day I would. I like comfort. Who doesn’t?

But that doesn’t mean I choose comfort all day, every day. I just can’t. Because I know that if I did I would end up back where I started which was a rough place to be. All that comfort brought me to a place where I was super limited by my weight and my body was taking a huge toll because of it.

I know I have to make the tough choices every day because those are what allow me to be healthy, active and, for once, happy.

Yeah, I still eat pizza, drink beer, watch TV, and sleep in. But not every day. Most days it’s salad, gym, and early mornings. And that’s ok. It’s actually the best way for me to live.

That being said, don’t take my actions to mean that I don’t constantly have to think about my decisions. Or fight that little devil on my shoulder telling me to have another beer, skip the gym or stay in bed. That little monster was conditioned on my prior laziness and he fights me every day. Some days I want him to win, some days I give in and some days I can quiet him. But he never goes away.

And because I think some (maybe most) of you can relate I just wanted to share this with you.

These pretty accurately represent my devil and angel...LOL

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxox

WW Weekly Recap: Weeks 17 & 18

I am officially late, again, with my weekly update. Last week, I was so far behind I decided to not even post one and instead combine it with this week’s update. Then I got sick ("The sickness! It’s happening!") and here I am almost through another week and no update posted. But better late than never right?

Last week I talked about giving myself daily, weekly and monthly goals to help get me through the next four weeks, in this post. Of course, come day 2 I found myself sick and so there were three days spent in bed doing nothing but coughing, sneezing and sleeping. I am starting to feel better but still a bit zombie like. Yesterday I had a deep cleaning done at the dentist which required a Valium and Novocain and I am still a bit groggy from that. And my mouth hurts. So yeah, this week has been a bit of a suckfest.

I did however, manage to start tracking again yesterday and even though I haven’t worked out this week (if it’s in the chest, you better rest- that’s the rule of thumb I follow) and  my step count has been abysmal,  I have definitely done really great with the sleep part. I am averaging a solid 10+ hours a night. And when I was home from work, at least another 6 hours during the day. Yeah, being awake is definitely the toughest part of working while sick.

Anywho, I can’t help it when things like this happen. I just have to ride it out and make the best of it. I know that when I am feeling better things will get back on track. Right now, I am just focused on my health. That comes first, always. The scale- well, it will always be there.

Soooo, back to the whole point of this post- my weekly weigh ins. I managed to see two small losses these past two weeks:

On 11/7 I weighed in at 169.0 which was a loss of 0.8 and then on 11/14 I weighed in at 168.2 for another loss of 0.8. Still hanging out below 170 but not yet back to where I was at the end of September. BUT, I really can’t complain the numbers are still trending downward and I am still quite confident I am making good choices and supporting a healthy lifestyle, when not sick, and that is really what matters most.

For next week, my goal is to get back to working on my daily/weekly/monthly goals and hopefully get some energy back. Why does it seem to take FOREVER to get over a cold? I am soooo over it! ;)

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxox 

It's the 4 Week Countdown!

I’m leaving in 4 weeks for my honeymoon. We’ll be spending 2 weeks in Cabo. It’s going to be amazeballs. When we get back we will be heading out again to spend the rest of the holiday with E’s family so we will pretty much be gone for three weeks. I can’t believe it, it is going to be the absolute best way to close out the most amazing year!

But I am nervous, though. Not gonna lie. I am worried that I am sliding into the vacation mindset already and I still have a month before it is here. I need to switch back into weight loss mode. I need to keep paying attention to my choices, I need to bring back mindfulness into my life.

So I decided I needed a challenge – something to help keep me motivated and moving these next four weeks. I really wanted to do Brooke’s Skinny Snowman Challenge but since I will be out of the country for a big chunk of it (during which I will be completely disconnected from social media) I thought it better to come up with something I can start right now. Even if it is just me participating.

However, I am still using Brooke as my inspiration for this challenge since I am going to steal use her Goal Digger chart to track my goals. You can download your own copy here of the free printable. The way Brooke set it up is you have daily, weekly, and monthly goals. This is perfect for me to help bring back that focus to weight loss during the holiday/end of semester/about to vacation madness.

My month (well, four weeks actually) will start tomorrow, Saturday, November 14^th and run through Friday, December 11^th- the day before we leave for Cabo. Perfect timing, right?

My goals for these next four weeks are:

Daily

Track every day- WW and MFP

Hit step goal – determined by Garmin, based on average movement

At least 7 hours sleep a night

Follow meal plan for the day

Weekly

Workout 5 times/week (minimum 30 minutes)

Drinkend ONLY (no beer except on the weekend- exception being Thanksgiving)

80/20 with meals (limited to 4 meals out a week)

Write weekly WW post for accountability

Monthly

Lose 5 pounds

Follow HM training plan (starts 11/23)

Attend 2 yoga and/or fitness classes

Ok, so now I am all set with my goals. I know I can bring back some focus and mindfulness if I just make the choices that will help me to achieve these goals. I think this is exactly what I need for the next four weeks- recommitting to myself; my journey and my health.

Want to join me? Let me know in the comments if you will be participating too. J

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxox

WW Weekly Recap: Week 16

Week 16

Yeah, I had to go back and count. I had no idea what week last week was/this week is but now I do.

I can’t believe it has almost been 4 months since I re-joined WW. Even with the post ACL/antibiotics/injury/wedding mayhem gain I am still over 10 pounds down from where I started. I am 12.2 pounds down to be exact. I will call that a win!

Oh, sorry- horse before the cart. I am at a total of 12.2 lbs down because I gained a whopping 0.4 lbs this week. LOL. Yeah, we’ll just call that ‘staying the same’. And for a week of very little activity and eating so/so I am 1000000% ok with ‘staying the same’.

I would like to get back into losing again but really, I just want to get back into my healthy habits that keep me sane. I am pretty good with meal planning/cooking/packing lunches – even during the crazy busy times. Yeah, sometimes I eat out more than I would prefer and sometimes I drink more than I should but those are not my norm. The norm is still packing breakfast and lunch M-F, eating dinner at home S-Th and then some meals out on the weekend and this week is no different. Smoothies for breakfast, apples and bananas for morning snacks, soup for lunches, edamame for afternoon snack and some awesome meals planned from JL Goes Vegan’s pressure cooker cookbook. Oh and can’t forget, dark chocolate and tea at night.

This week I am looking to get in some more activity though. I plan on getting in two runs during the week (plus I have a HM on Sunday), two days of Cize and then a long bike ride on Saturday- if the weather cooperates. I also brought one of my bikes to work with me to keep in my office. This way I can go for rides during my lunch break and even to/from meetings. Hopefully I can get into the habit of getting a few daytime rides in every week.

I also am still balancing school, work, and life also which means it can’t always be about my training schedule or my preferred meal options. I need to make sure I still have time for schoolwork, self-care and relationship care <<< that’s a thing right? I mean, it should be even if no one actually calls it that.

I decided though that I want to get back into the habit of posting weekly goals with my update. I like the added focus to my plans but also I like being able to tailor them around the weekly events in my life. Monthly goals, sometimes, are just too long to plan for. A week at a time tends to be much more my speed. So here they are, some goals for week 17:

Monday 11/2 through Sunday 11/8

100,000 steps 

Track every day

30 minutes of movement 5 days/week

Some form of self-care (reading, bubble bath, stretching/meditation) at least twice

Finish homework before the weekend

Stick to Sunday-Friday meal plan

Ok, that’s about all I have for today. I will definitely be checking in with you next week for an update and it will hopefully include a happy recounting of my half marathon J

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxox

Hellloooooo....

I had thought about trying to make this one of those ‘if you and I were having coffee together I’d tell you…’ posts but really this is just a brain dump of me trying to play catch-up. It has been over a MONTH! Can you believe it? I mean, I knew I would be taking a hiatus but man- that was a long one.

Well, first and foremost. I should introduce myself. Hi, I’m Dacia Larin…that’s right. I got hitched! On 10/17 Erick and I made it official. There are not enough stories, pictures, videos, etc. from that day to adequately paint the picture of how amazing it was. The whole weekend was perfect- start to finish. I haven’t gotten my official wedding photos yet but I have a collection of about 300 compiled from ones I took myself plus those from people that attended out on FB, I have a few on IG, and I have this super amazing slideshow that Dre, our friend and photographer, put together. In case you want to see inside our wedding day.

Wedding Slideshow

Password: larootwedding

Some of my favorites from the wedding

I do hope that one day I can sit down and tell you all about the wedding weekend. Although it would probably need to be like a 4 part post. If you are interested at all in me doing that please let me know.

Since I have been away I finished up one of the two courses I was taking this semester. I actually took my final from my hotel room in Austin. That’s right- I haven’t posted since before ACL.  So much I am behind on. And wrapped up my final project the week before my wedding. Needless to say taking an 8 week accelerated course while planning and finalizing a wedding was not a great idea for my mental well-being. But I survived. And I got an A!

A crazy thing happened while I was in Austin…I cut my foot open on a rusty nut on a bolt sticking out of the sidewalk. There must have been a sign bolted down at some point and then removed and the bolts were left behind. Who knows, it was totally random. This required a trip to urgent care, a tetanus shot and a 10 day supply of antibiotics. That was so not awesome. It happened Sunday morning on the way to breakfast so Sunday at ACL was interesting. Definitely not how I wanted to end the most amazing ACL trip ever. All in all it was still an amazing time and I managed to make through almost all of Sunday’s shows- I just had to deal with the pain, the shoe issues and the gross antibiotics feelings for a while afterwards.

Sad to say it but I think next year will be Lollapalooza for us since it coincides with Fitbloggin' in Indy...ACL 2017 for sure! 

What else, what else…

Oh, weight loss.

Hmmmm….

Well, I am back at it again. Tracking, meal planning- the whole shebang. I gained a lot after/from ACL (I blame some of it on beers and burritos every day but I also blame those damn antibiotics) and then with the wedding life was just a bit too crazy for me to care. When I wasn’t traveling or wedding’ing I made the best choices I could- I cooked meals at home, I got in exercise when I could, I tracked, but during those other times- not a fuck was given. #truth Weight Watchers was the last thing on my mind.

I have gone back in and updated my weight loss tracking page for the last 4 weigh-ins I didn’t write about and I also updated my goals. A lot has changed in a month….more so than just my name.

So here I am. About a week back into my normal-ish routine and I am still working on it. The meal planning/prepping is almost always like second nature and I am pretty good at bouncing back into 80/20 but the activity is where I am losing focus. I just don’t know what I want to do right now. Yoga? Cize? I want to ride my bike all the time but I am limited there although I am planning on bringing one of my bikes to work so I can ride around during the day. I don’t feel like running – boring- and I don’t feel like even going to the gym. I just want to cuddle with my HUSBAND and our puppy and do that all the time. Why isn’t that enough? I am also cursing daylight standard (that's what this is right?) time for coming this weekend to steal my after work sunshine. Ugh! I hate this time of year.

Anywho that is where I am right now. Still working, still taking classes, still working on my weight loss mojo just now I am doing so as a married woman. Which really doesn’t change much of anything, I just like to talk about being married.

I will be back soon to check in after this weekend’s weigh-in and will hopefully have some fun Halloween pics to share with you and maybe even some ideas about how to get my fitness groove back. If you know how, please do tell ;)

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxox

WW Weekly Recap: Week 10

Week 10…

A loss of 4.4 pounds.

Crazy big number and not one I would normally be thrilled with (because it is too high, imho) however, we all know how weight loss goes. And when I look at the big picture, in four weeks I lost a total of five pounds. This 4.4 is basically three weeks of what would equal a normal/average loss just shown on the scale all at once.

This loss brings me to a total of 15 pounds lost since 7/13 and it puts me just one pound away from the top of my healthy weight range. Woo hoo!

I have never been one to experience huge losses on the scale- not even early on in my journey- so I have been quite comfortable with the slow and steady progression. Right now I am averaging 1.5 pounds lost a week and that is perfect in my mind. I know that, for me, losing at a faster rate would require drastic measures and that’s just not my style. Those type of extreme behaviors are not sustainable and will, ultimately, lead to a quick regain. Thankfully this whole refocus on my regimen is helping me bring back to the forefront those healthy habits that I need to keep practicing daily.

I did great with my step goal for the week! 

I’m not saying I need to be super strict and have laser focus to every little detail but I can’t keep playing loose and fast with my life. When I don’t pay attention or I stop caring it shows. It shows not just on the scale but in how I feel both mentally and physically. Not saying that I am currently a ray of sunshine every day now, but I know if I wasn’t focusing on my healthy habits now I would be a lot worse off.

With the wedding quickly approaching, just a little over 3 weeks away, I have a lot on my plate. I will try to check in on the blog during those weeks but in case I can’t I will at least try to update you with my weekly weigh in results on the FB page. Just to give you an idea of my schedule here is what I have coming up:

Final (hopefully) dress fitting – 9/26

Final (hopefully) make up appointment – 9/27

Trip to Austin – leave after work 9/30 return 10/5

Final Exam – 10/5

Final Project Due – 10/9

Ani Concert – 10/10

Cize Teacher Training – 10/11

Democratic Debate Viewing Party – 10/13

Pre-wedding stuff ALL DAY, EVERY DAY ;) 10/15 & 10/16

WEDDING – 10/17

Post-wedding celebration 10/18 & 10/19

…and then die from exhaustion

Just kidding

I hope….

With all that is going on I still have to work, finish up a grad course, help my Little Brother train for his kids marathon, train for my own half marathon and finalize a lot of wedding stuff. (Not complaining- just stating facts)

So here’s the thing. I am still meal planning, planning out my workouts and setting goals for myself I just know that in the next few weeks I will have to be much more flexible. I am finishing up Cize week two and half marathon week 4 this week but I have had to make some concessions in the name of school work- it trumps training plans. I also know how difficult it will be to stick to either routine while traveling next week so I will just do the best I can.

When I am home I vow to cook/meal prep and schedule time for activity. When I am traveling I vow to squeeze in activity in some form and make the best choices available to me. When it is wedding time I vow to just get out of my head and enjoy the time with family, friends and of course MY HUSBAND.

So there you have it – my super late week 10 recap. I started this post on Monday….it took me four days to finish it. Yep, that’s just life these days.

I will try to report back when I can. Follow me on IG or Facebook for wedding and ACL pics.

Until the next time…

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxox

WW Weekly Recap: Week 9

Week 9 has come and gone and although it wasn’t what I had hoped it to be, weight loss wise, I am not letting my weight gain and missed goals stop me from trying again this week.

So how did last week go? Well, it started off strong but then got a bit crazy by the end. My goals for last week were to:

Complete week two of half marathon training – yes! Although I had to move the long run to Sunday I did not miss a single run this week

Train with M for the kids marathon- yup! We logged another two miles last week

Go to the gym twice with Anna- yeppers! Day 1 I did my warm up on the treadmill followed by a 5K on the rowing machine (in just under 25 minutes) and day 2 was 5 miles on the treadmill (as part of HM training)

Track everyday- Yesiree! Even when it got a bit out of hand and hard to remember (cough, cough – beer fest)

90K steps or more- Nope!  I fell just over 5K short on this goal. I would have crushed it if I had kept my long run on Saturday. NBD, it happens. This week’s step count will be super high J

Try to limit how much I drink at the beer fest- Kind of…I probably could have been better, I definitely could have been worse. Actually, the drinking wasn’t really the bad part- the snacking and 10p dinner out was what got me and the scale showed it.

Ignore my weird sausage toes...LOL!

You see, I debated on whether or not to weigh in Friday morning instead of Saturday since I knew I would be out drinking and eating late Friday night. Friday morning I weighed in at 170.0 (a gain of 0.4) but I opted to not record it. Instead I weighed in Saturday morning at 171.4- a gain of 1.8 for the week. Eh, it happens. And it was kind of expected. It had been 6 weeks since my last gain, it was only a matter of time.

Emerald Coast Beer Fest- always a great time! 

The important part- I just keep focusing on healthy habits and actions, even when life is tough. It’s no secret that I have been feeling a lot of stress lately. For me, now is the time I really need to be more conscious about the decisions I am making. Even though eating half a bag of tortilla chips and a tub of salsa seemed like a good idea in the moment (this happened Saturday) it only made me feel worse, physically and mentally. Sunday was spent recuperating from treating my body like shit but making sure I got in my long run, taking care of a ton of wedding stuff, meal planning and prepping, and a little relaxation on the beach (which was actually part of wedding stuff) helped to get my mind right.

View along my long run- the church where E and I will be married... <3

Vegan brunch at End of the Line- my favorite!

Salt Life

Gordie is my co-pilot...

This week there are some changes ahead which you will see in my goals…

Complete Cize Week 1 (yup, I am back at it. I loved it so much I just needed to bring it back into the routine)

Love me some Cize!!!

Complete Week 3 HM Training

Track Everyday

Log 100,000 steps

Catch Up on Schoolwork – I am falling behind (which is so unlike me) and that is adding to the stress

Try a New Recipe

Complete Photo-A-Day Challenge the 15^th-19^th

Feel free to join in and use the hashtag if you post on social media :)

Until next week….

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxox

WW Weekly Weigh-In: Week 7 Recap

So here is a quick (for this blog at least) recap of week 7. I am really going to try and keep up at least these weekly posts, if not more, between now and the wedding but I make no guarantees.

Last week my plan was:

Track every day

Finish Cize week 4

Log 85K (or more) steps

Train with M for the kids marathon

Sunday evening – Saturday morning no eating out (except birthday cupcake)

No drinking until after dress fitting

I am happy to report I met each and every goal set. I tracked every day, finished up Cize (which was so super fun) and racked up 90 APs for the week, logged over 90K steps, trained with M, did not eat out during the week (except for the birthday cupcake), and did not drink until after the dress fitting.

Cize 4 week before and after side by side photos 

Step count for the week :)

And you know my goal was to be at or below 172 for the dress fitting and I am happy to report I was.  Week 7 saw a 2.2 pound loss and brought me back into the 160’s when I weighed in at 169.8 Saturday morning. I was a couple pounds below my goal weight (the weight I was at when I purchased my wedding dress) and man was I thankful. The dress fit perfectly. Aside from the hem for the length and the bustle I didn’t need any alterations. That made me quite happy to not feel like a stuffed sausage in my dress. I cannot wait for the big day just 6.5 weeks away!!!

Wedding dress sneak peek...LOL ;)

Of course, you probably guessed that the minute that dress fitting was over I hit Chipotle, then World of Beers Destin, and then later World of Beers Pensacola, then had dinner out at our favorite vegan spot, then had lunch out the next day plus leftovers from dinner the day before for dinner on Sunday. So yeah – I ate out 3 times in one weekend, 4 if you count having leftovers for a second dinner. It happens.

So far this week I have been trying to recover from an indulgent weekend. I did end up grabbing dinner out last night at Panera and a flight and a snifter of beer from WoB for their release of Funky Buddha which is finally being sold in North Florida- but both were planned. This beer loving girl could not resist being there for release night. We went to the brewery in December and I loved it. It is a family favorite for E since his sister and BIL live/work right near there. If you can get your hands on it I highly recommend their coconut porter- Last Snow. Probably my favorite porter. I think they just bumped Mystery Romp from Crooked Letter. It’s that good. Hoping I can snag some bottles of it for the wedding so if you are coming in October remind me to share some with you J

OK, so even though it is late and the week is half over I do want to share with you my goals for week 8. I made this plan up last Friday so I am putting thought into each week, even if it might not seem like it.

Week 8 Goals

Bike Rides with E (Sunday and Saturday)

Train with M for Pensacola kids marathon

Complete first week of HM training

Gym with Anna twice

Track every day (the good, bad, and the ugly)

Prep for yard sale weekend

Get some stuff off the wedding to-do list

Drink only Saturday and Tuesday

90K steps or more

I am on a 34 day tracking streak. I actually tracked every single day in August and I am super proud of myself for that. It’s been awhile since I have been so diligent with my tracking…which probably says something right there, huh? Not saying that mindful eating doesn’t work. It does, as long as I am actually being mindful and honest with myself about what and why I am eating. Until I get back to that place I will rely on tracking to keep me in check. Plus, I am a numbers person (it is actually my FT job) so I love the data I am compiling daily with tracking. And for those curious I am using both WW and MFP to track- the more data the better right now J

Ok, that’s about it. Until next week….

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxoxox

WW Weekly Weigh-In Week 6 Recap

As you may or may not have seen me post already on FB- I have a little streak going. Today marks day 25 of tracking using the Weight Watchers app. I recommitted to Weight Watchers 6 weeks ago today and in those six weeks I have only skipped one day tracking and that was the day I stayed home sick from work. I don’t know about you but when it comes to tracking, whether it be points or calories or just logging my food items, I definitely struggle with tracking while sick and tracking on the weekends. I am happy to report I have yet to skip out tracking on the weekends- which is an amazing personal accomplishment. Weekends are hard because a) I tend to eat out b) I tend to eat out at non-chain restaurants c) I tend to eat random vegan dishes in which I cannot find comparable listings in the WW app d) I have a hard time judging quantities of said random vegan dishes. This go-around I have just been better at trying to estimate the portion sizes and break my meals down by ingredients. No, I have no idea how much oil is used to cook it in or exactly each component but I know enough to guess. So that’s what I do. And to me, guessing is better than avoiding. That’s what I sued to do. I was queen of the weekday tracking and then I would just skip over the weekends. This time, I am more focused and more diligent and so I am making every effort possible to be better with the tracking.

Mondays happen whether we want them to or not- this shirt was perfect for how I felt this morning

This week went pretty well. As I noted, I tracked every day. I limited my drinking to one beer on Tuesday (at Trivia night) and I had two beers Saturday (beach day plus a concert). I finished up Cize week 3 which was definitely the hardest week/routines so far. This week is the last week of the program and it is a recap of all 6 routines I learned over the last three weeks. I started week 4 yesterday and am now through 2 of the 6 routines. I cannot believe I only have 4 more days left until I finish the program. This will be my first time every completing an entire at home DVD program. But honestly this one has been great. I really love this program so much so I wake up every morning ready to dance. I haven’t enjoyed something as much as I do this is a long time. And I have never enjoyed an at-home program enough to stick with it- so that’s saying something. I actually signed up for the Cize Live instructor workshop so that way I can teach Cize locally. This is my first real foray into becoming a fitness instructor so I am nervous but I feel good about it. I think this could be a great move for me.

Cize in the morning to complete week 3 then an afternoon on the beach- it's all about balance! 

I still can't believe this is where I live!!!

This week I saw another loss on the scale. I was down 1.4 pounds bringing my weight to 172 pounds which is a total loss of 10 pounds in 6 weeks. Not only did I earn a second 5 pound lost star, I also hit my 5% weight loss mark having lost (and exceeded) five percent of my starting weight. This also means that I have reached my first weight loss goal of reaching 173 by 8/29. Of course, I could gain this week and be above 173 come this Saturday but hopefully that won’t happen. I am hoping to at least maintain this week and be at the weight I wanted to be at for my first dress fitting. 

Disregard that body fat %- you cannot get anything close to accurate of a BF reading from a scale.

Feeling comfortable in my jeans again. Size 29 Lucky Brand Sweet and Low back into the wardrobe. 

In order to do so I have some goals set for this week to keep me focused and they are:

1.       Track every day

2.       Finish Cize week 4

3.       Log 85K (or more) steps for the week- not even a day and a half in and I am ~25K steps in J

4.       Training session with M for the Kids Marathon

5.       Sunday evening –Saturday morning no eating out (birthday cupcake on Tuesday is ok)

6.       No drinking until after dress fitting

So there you have it-my week 6 results and week 7 game plan. I will check in with you next week and let you know how it goes.

Do you have any goals for the week? Do you track or log your food? 

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxox

Full Disclosure

I am full on focused on weight loss right now.

I hadn’t been for awhile. I thought I probably shouldn’t be. I struggled with the whole ‘health at every size, advocate for acceptance, love myself as is’ mentality that was making me feel like I couldn’t also focus on weight loss.

Like in my head I could accept myself as is OR I could want to change BUT I couldn’t accept myself AND want to change. That seemed wrong. It seemed hypocritical.

But it isn’t. Body acceptance/self-love and  the desire to want to change how I look aren’t mutually exclusive things. I can love myself now and still want to lose weight…I mean, isn’t that how I got here in the first place?

When people ask me how I was able to lose 130 pounds I always say I found self-love early on in my journey and that allowed me to make the choices that reflected the future I wanted for myself and kept me on the path that allowed me to get there.

So what’s different now? I mean, aside from weighing less than I did 4 years ago when I made this  discovery what’s different?

Nothing!

Honestly, it was ok for me to be that way then and it is ok for me that way now. Meaning it is ok for me to focus on weight loss now because it is coming from that same place of love and concern, that same desire to be healthy and active and fully participate in my life. But in my head I had it all wrong. I thought because I was all about the HAES philosophy and beauty from within and loving and accepting who you are and feeling good in your skin and not measuring worth from beauty (or size) that I would be a big hypocrite to turn around and say I want to lose weight. It feels like it even now when I type it but maybe that’s because so many times I have seen stories of people wanting to lose weight for the wrong reasons, for unhealthy reasons and that does go against what I believe. But for me, right now, I want to lose weight for the same reasons I did back then. I just have a lot less to lose.

Maintenance isn’t easy….I am sure you hear people say that all the time.  For me it is more like a big jigsaw puzzle that I am trying to put together and every time I get close to figuring it out someone comes and throws the pieces on the floor and I have to start over. But not really start over from piece one. There are still some sections of pieces are still assembled and I am able to see the big picture even with the missing pieces it's just that I am not finished. And I probably won’t ever be. I will probably cycle through weight gain and loss (on a small scale) all of my life. My life is not, nor do I hope it ever is, consistent enough to always eat the same way and exercise the same amount and sleep regularly every night. It just isn’t, and that is ok. I like my sometimes whirlwind life.

But what I came here to say, in full disclosure, is that I want to lose 10 pounds. I just do. I run better, my clothes fit better, I am not so self-conscious, I feel better, I sleep better, I am just better when I don’t have to worry about the negative impacts of my weight. I also want to be able to come here and talk about it, openly. I want to be able to tell you that I rejoined Weight Watchers (a program that I left 3 years ago) because I was desperately trying to figure out what I was doing wrong this time around, why nothing was working- which as you know turned out to be my health, not my lack of trying. I also bought Cize (the new fitness program from Shaun T- it’s all dance routines and I love it) and started back with Shakeology and even signed up to be a Beach Body coach, even though I doubt I will get too involved right away since I am overwhelmed with school right now. I am just trying to find what works for me now, which is going to be different than what worked for me then….maybe. But I want to be able to talk about it and not feel ashamed or embarrassed or hypocritical.  And now that I type that I can say I don’t, and that I was silly to even think I would.

I just want to tell you where I am right now in my life with my weight loss/maintenance and not keep anything off the table. Being honest with you keeps me honest with myself. And if I am being honest I should tell you that I was struggling for a bit back there. But now, well now I think I am finally making some head way and am ready to talk about it.

And since that it is all out in the open here are some funny weight loss memes to lighten the mood J

Swap out cheesecake with pizza and this is so me....

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxox