#1 A question from this week’s Friend Makin’ Monday post
What is the last movie you watched? I was home from work two days this week fighting a cold (luckily I didn’t end up with the flu like my bf did) and so I spent a day watching only movies. I’m not gonna lie, it was pretty awesome. I watched four movies. FOUR! And they were all good and nothing at all alike so it was fun. I watched Don Jon (love, love, love me some JGL), the Butler, In a World, and the Spectacular Now. I really enjoyed them all but I think 'In a World' was my favorite. This says a lot about the movie since it’s pretty hard to beat anything with JGL in it.
#2 Transparent Tuesday
Authentically Emmie had a great post this week for #TransparentTuesday. It was the first time I had heard of that hashtag and liked the idea of writing something a little less filtered, a little more raw. I don’t ever want this blog to be a place where I come to air my dirty laundry or talk badly about others. But it should be a place where I can talk openly about my life and the issues I am dealing with. Right now there are two issues that are really weighing heavily on my mind; the soon to be loss of my doggies (they are ok, they just need to go to a new home. Not my decision. And yes, I am filled with sadness, hurt and unbridled anger over this) and the constant feeling of guilt that comes with losing my two best friends. It was difficult when Paul and I separated knowing I would have limited time with them. It was the hardest part of the whole divorce process, not being able to take them with me, not being able to cuddle with them every night and have them to pick up my spirits and help me through the transition. So, when I was informed that the dogs could no longer stay with Paul I was devastated. I still am devastated. After 6 and 8 years with them it is hard to imagine my life without my girls. They have been by my side through so much. I feel lost without them. I am not sure if the pain and guilt will ever go away. I am heartbroken. Without them, my life just isn’t the same.
The second issue is dealing with my past life, post-divorce. I made it through the separation and divorce pretty easily because it was the right thing for me. It was good to break away from that relationship and until the news (after the divorce was finalized) about the dogs, I had no anger or ill will towards Paul. I am still trying not to since I know it wasn’t easy for him to decide to get rid of our dogs. At least, that is what I hope to be true. But there are times when a memory comes to mind and I look back on that moment of my life wondering how I became that person I once was. How did I let myself get so far from the path, from my true self? Some times that realization of that person I was is hard to deal with. It makes me sad. It makes me angry. And if you know me, you know I am not the type of person to dwell over the past. I am a ‘learn from it and move on’ kind of girl. But lately, I just feel a bit defeated and deflated when I am hit by those memories. Luckily, I know better to dwell on these thoughts or feelings too long. Luckily, I know that I had to experience all of the life behind me to get where I am today. Luckily, everything I have endured has prepared me to finally reclaim the life I wanted, the person I once was. And that makes me happy. Knowing I am finally in a place where I can be myself and live this life and enjoy every moment of it without fear or shame is a really amazing thing. So, yeah. I’m human. And yep, there are definitely times when I feel regret/remorse/disappointment in the decisions I have made in the past. And yep, some days it is hard to work through those feelings quickly. Some days I just have to be sad. Some days I just have to cry it out. Or scream a bit. Or curse the world. But most days, well most days I am filled with gratitude for all of those hard times. For those are what have made me strong.
What I Ate Wednesday…well, I am not quite sure what I ate on Wednesday. I was sick so my guess is I ate some vegetable soup at some point. I looked back through my photos and found some of my favorite eats from the past few weeks and thought I would share those instead
Best. Breakfast. Ever. This is from Surrey's Cafe in NOLA and I will be eating this again next weekend for sure when I visit!
TLT- Tempeh, Lettuce and Tomato sammie with a bowl of roasted brussel sprouts at Pub 5 in Nashville!
A lovely, and super yummy, vegan entree (not on the menu) from Etch in Nashville
Champagne and straberries cupcake from Oh Snap! here in P'cola
#4 Throwback Thursday
For good measure…little RRR
The world's best parents...and one pretty dang cute baby RRR ;)
Bet you didn't know I was a mini-Mozart...
#5 Five Things Friday
And for my fifth thing…well today I wanted to share something (someone?) very special to me. Last night we made it official by sharing it on Facebook. (I hope you can sense my sarcasm when I say FB makes it official) So today I thought I would share a bit here. I just wanted to ‘introduce’ you to my boyfriend, E. He is a pretty amazing guy and I plan on having him as part of my life (and subsequently this blog) for a very long time. And since he is in almost every picture I take it was only a matter of time before he ended up here.
He took me to Nashville for my birthday...
We enjoyed lots of yummy local craft beers...
And we saw a Preds game...6th row, center ice. It was awesome!
And enjoyed our time exploring the city...even if it felt like the frozen tundra....
I love that he doesn't mind taking 5 millions pitcures either...even at the most inopportune times...like on an airplane
...Or while driving
...Or even half asleep in bed
He willingly eats tempeh...every once in awhile, on special occassions ;)
...and cuddles with me after surgery
...and most importantly he stays by my side, even when it involves a nap, through the good and the bad and that is what really matters most!