I have been having a rough time with this injury. Some days I feel great and others…well not so much. I was at Thai Yoga therapy yesterday and was talking to Tricia about it. I told her how I had a great run on Sunday but then I had a hard time with intervals Tuesday morning. I said I wasn’t sure if the issue I was facing was physical or mental. You see, I was having a really hard time pushing myself to run faster during my intervals and I didn’t know if it was because the injury was limiting my ability or if I was holding back because mentally I am afraid of making the injury worse. Does that make sense?
I am guessing it is a bit of both. I still have some lingering pain and range of motion issues and those are physical. But I am also 100% certain that there is a part of me afraid to really push it right now. Call me overly cautious but I just don’t feel healthy and the last thing I want to do is make matters worse.
I’ve also noticed that I can’t fight the lingering anguish from the half last month. That day diminished any self confidence I had at all in my abilities and I have yet to do anything since that helped build it back up. I am hoping that Sunday’s long run will give me a confidence boost because without it I am feeling quite hopeless.
I have never really had an injury like this before, never been in a situation where I am torn between training and races and feeling weak and trying to build strength and losing my patience and not wanting to force myself back into it too quickly. It’s quite the mess in my headspace right now.
But I do think I am doing what is best for my body and I do know that one day I will gain my confidence back. I just don’t know when that will be. So, until then I will just keep on truckin’.
Have you been sidelined from an injury before? How did you handle the mental side of it? How did you get your confidence back?