Life. The decisions we make daily. These choices are not our punishment, these are our gift.
These past few weeks have left me in this crazy state of
introspection meets pure bliss meets crazy lows meets exhilaration meets
sadness meets overwhelming happiness.
Basically I have all the feels lately.
About a month ago I did something I wasn’t sure I would be
able to do but tried anyway…I ran two half marathons in two days. The second
being the most challenging (because of the elevation and the weather and of
course, the soreness from the day before) half marathon I ever ran. When I
finished I thought my heart might burst. I was beyond happy, beyond proud of
what I had completed.
Then two weeks ago I got to walk across the stage during
commencement for my formal hooding and to collect my empty (soon to be filled though)
diploma cover for my Education Specialist degree. My parents and E were there
cheering me on. So were some of my co-workers and friends as well. It was a
pretty amazing feeling. I didn’t walk when I earned my MBA (I had to move to
start a new job the day before the ceremony) and my mother was ill during my undergraduate
ceremony so it was really nice having both my parents there to celebrate. And
of course, I cannot wait to do it again in three years (hopefully) when I
complete my doctorate.
Last weekend I spent 36 hours running and relaying the
Ragnar Cape Cod with 11 other weight losers/maintainers. For the most part,
this was the first time our group was meeting in person. Then we had the
pleasure of running 192 miles, relay-style, from Hull, MA to Provincetown, MA.
A Ragnar Relay had been on my bucket list since I had first learned what it was
a few years ago so I was beyond excited to not only finish one but to finish
one with 11 of the most amazing people I have met on this journey. These
memories, jokes, hugs and stories will stay with me for life. These people are
my Ragnar family now. Time and distance can never change that.
So, as you can see these past few weeks were quite the
rollercoaster of emotions. Whenever I reach a new high I tend to be hit almost
immediately with a new low. Usually it’s “I can’t believe it’s all over” or in
terms of my doctorate it’s more like “holy shit, I am not ready for this”.
But through these recent experiences I have really thought
about my life. Life as a weight loss maintainer. I often write about being
happy in the decisions I make and how that allows me to sustain this lifestyle.
And it’s true. But another thing I have been thinking a lot about lately is the
fact that I have a choice at all. Right now, if you are reading this post then
chances are your life is filled with choices. Most of which are probably taken
for granted. I know most of mine are.
You see, my lifestyle today is completely different from
what it was four or five years ago. Like 180 degrees different. I eat
differently, am active in different ways (active vs sedentary really) and I
even dream differently. And I get to do all of this because I have the freedom
and the means (for the most part) to make these choices. I choose to eat a
certain way and I can. I choose to register for races and sign up for boot
camps because I can. And I choose to dream big because I am no longer afraid of
my limitations. I dream big because I can.
These choices I make in the moment, daily, weekly, yearly
these are gifts. They are not my punishment.
I choose health and that is a gift. I choose activity and
that is a gift. I choose to believe that the sky is the limit and that is the
biggest gift of all.
I am not saying that these decisions always come easily or
naturally and there is always a battle going on between head and heart, or
really between old habits and new habits. I am not ‘perfect’ nor am I without
flaws. My journey has never been, nor will it ever be, a straight line. But I
can’t beat myself up for living the best way I can each day. I can only be me. And
I can only make myself happy. Or in turn it’s only me that can make myself
miserable. I have the power to decide my fate and my feelings. And for me that
power lies in my perspective- is it a gift or is it a punishment?
It is a gift.
Always.
Love and hugs,
Dacia
xoxoxox
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