Weight Loss is not the Answer...

I have had a lot on my mind lately. Especially in regards to weight loss and weight maintenance. A lot of thoughts got stirred up back in October when I did the interview with Shape and from that new thoughts and topics have come to mind. But since I really wasn't supposed to talk about the article I thought I would keep them to myself.

Then the article came out. And then, on Monday night, I taped a podcast interview where the Shape article also came up in discussion. And now my mind is just filled to the brim with all sorts of things. So I thought I would do a brain dump to get a few of them out on paper….hopefully this makes sense.

In my life, if I had believed that weight gain was the cause of my problems then logically weight loss would have been the solution. Seems logical, right? But more likely the case is that weight gain is not the problem but instead an effect from a different problem and therefore just the mere act of losing weight will not be the answer. I think (and you know I am no doctor or expert- just voicing my opinion here) that weight gain, particularly excessive weight gain, typically presents itself as an effect of a bigger problem such as disordered thinking (I hate myself, I am not deserving of happiness, I am not worthy of love), mood disorders (anxiety, depression, bipolar, etc), eating disorders, etc. I feel that in most cases the root of the weight gain stems from some bigger underlying problem that has attributed to behaviors leading to rapid or excessive weight gain.

Ok, I get that you probably already know this and hopefully you agree. But here is the thing- you can lose weight and in the process not fix the underlying problem. And unfortunately, when that happens, it seems from what I have witnessed, people are more likely to regain. Why? Because weight loss was not the solution to their problem and guess what? Being ‘skinny’ isn't the super awesome best thing in the world answer to everyone’s prayers and makes us feel good no matter what. It just isn't.

And this is the point I want to talk about.

Weight loss will not make you happy. It will not make you love your career or spouse/partner. It will not make you a better friend or parent. It will not give you peace of mind or a sense of security. Weight loss is not magic. It will not fix your problems and give you a perfect life.

I am not saying it can’t help you. Some of the side effects of weight loss like increased confidence, sense of self, self-respect, etc., could really help make your life better. But only if you let them. Only when you allow yourself to change and mend and heal will you be able to reap the benefits that can come with weight loss. Because, again, we are trying to work on a bigger problem- not our weight but ourselves as a whole. 

Over these past four years so many things have changed in my life. It has been a roller coaster. I have lost weight and gotten healthy but in the process I really had to fix a lot of my own personal shit in order to make it stick. I had to fight and change and admit failures and push towards goals and dreams and do all of this while being honest about what I needed to work on (easier said than done) and what I felt proud of. I had to find my weak spots. I had to go to some dark places. I had to hit rock bottom and then dig myself out. I had to fight every day to try and earn the life I wanted and I had to do so knowing that the changes that needed to happen were so much bigger and deeper than just my weight. I hated the person I had become so in order to heal I had to find my self-love. I was disgusted by myself so I had to find confidence and pride and strength to overcome it. I was miserable in my life so I had to make some big, tough, painful (at times), not easy choices and changes in order to be happy. 

I’m not saying all this to come across as a lecture on weight loss/maintenance. But I say all this because I want you to know that if you are struggling- that’s normal. If it is hard- that’s normal too. If you feel alone- don’t, because there are so many people (myself included) that understand your pain and will gladly lend a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. This whole process for those of us that have/had a lot to lose is not easy. And everyone’s path is different. But if you set out with only one goal in mind (to lose weight) you could be setting yourself up for failure. Or at least disappointment at the end. Instead try on setting a goal of healing, one of introspection that will help you find the underlying issues, and try to really work on fixing them. I’m not saying you can’t do both. Actually, I think you will find great success when you start to work on your health and start building good habits and routines. You will start to feel emotions you may have not felt in a while and you can take those feelings (strength, courage, confidence) and use them to help you make big changes that can help you be successful.  

And as always, know that you are worth it. You are worth every fight and challenge and you are worthy of all the love and happiness in the world!

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxox

Bipolar Disorder and Breast Cancer

Bipolar Disorder and Breast Cancer….

They both run in my family.

Last year my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and opted for a double mastectomy. We were all very thankful that her decision has led her to be cancer free since. Yay, Mom!

But there are others in my family that have (or had) breast cancer and are being faced with that same tough decision.

I know it cannot be easy.

But thankfully, one thing that there is never a shortage of is people out there supporting/advocating/fundraising/walking/wearing pink and doing all sorts of awesome things for breast cancer awareness, research, treatment, etc. There are a bajillion support groups and a whole month dedicated to this disease in which you will see athletes and actors donning pink for this cause. It’s awesome.

Trust me, I did not come here to badmouth breast cancer supporters or advocates- they are some amazing people.

No, what I came here to do was to talk about a realization that I had last year. You see, my mom’s cancer scare garnished me a lot of sympathy/empathy. People went out of their way to make sure I was ok, mom was ok, our family was ok.  There was just so much support.

But the thing is, for almost my entire life my mother has been sick. She has been battling (and currently kicking its ass) bipolar disorder since I was just a wee one. It was not an easy road for her. It’s easier now, but it will always be a battle. And my mom is a freaking rock star. And I have learned so much about strength, courage, compassion and love from her. She has been through so much- she is the epitome of what it means to be a fighter.

But, from what I have experienced, people don’t have the same type of sympathy/empathy for someone living with a mental illness as they do for someone battling cancer. Why is that?

I can blame the stigma that still exists that allows people to believe that ‘crazy’ people are scary/danger to society/should be avoided at all costs.

I can blame the media for their often misguided representations of mental illness

I can blame the schizophrenic homeless man on the street that keeps yelling at passerbys because he is living in an alternate reality that we cannot see nor understand

But why blame them?

I know the truth about mental illness. I know that it is a disease. I know that having a disease does not make you less of a person. I know that there is a superhuman strength required to battle these diseases and there are few on the sidelines cheering for these people. But we should be.

I should be…

And for that to happen I need to be an advocate. I need to be a cheerleader. I need to talk openly about my experiences and help to break down the stigmas that exist. And I need to be a friend and supporter for those around me, always.

Everyone deserves to know that there is someone out there that loves them and cares for them no matter what. Scars and all.

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxo

MDHLC: Week Two

Hello everyone!

How was your first week of the Mother's Day Healthy Living Challenge?

My week was a bit up and down. So far I have been doing really great with my 30 minutes a day of self care. On Tuesday, I even read a book. True, it was for my grad class but still staying on top of my reading keeps me calm and de-stressed so I call that a win.

For the gratitude portion of my goals I think I have been doing well but I know I could do better. Thursday I was feeling really crappy (fighting off a spring cold) and I am pretty sure I spent the day being miserable, not taking a moment to be grateful. But other than that day I have been actively trying to show gratitude more and more each day. On a side note: have I told you how grateful I am for this challenge and the amazing FORTY-SIX people participating in it??? That number is pretty mind-blowing. I am definitely humbled….and thankful for sure.

My last goal was to log 8,000 steps a day. So far, since Monday, I am only 3 for 5 on that goal. I still have two more days and know I will reach my step goal throughout this weekend. So, I am going to call it a tentative win ;)

If you remember, last week for the initial week's challenge, I gave us a theme to follow when setting our goals: Do something each day that represents what healthy living means to you.

Now, I may not have been perfect every day when it came to hitting my goals but I can say with absolute certainty that I did something every day that represented what healthy living means to me. So I will call week one a success. Of course there is room for improvement but isn't there always?

For week two I challenge you with this:

*Do something different*

And when I say do something different it can be anything; a new exercise/activity, trying a new food, or changing up your schedule. Shake things up. Our bodies get used to routines. We need to change things up every now and then. 

And I don't know about you but I can certainly use a change to get me out of this rut. 

So, with that being said, my week two goals are as follows:

1. 70,000 steps for the week. Monday-Wednesday my step count will be lower but once the stitches come out I plan on stepping it up, sorry for the bad pun, a notch
2. Three morning workouts. This is a big change for me, incorporating morning workouts again, but it is a change I desperately need- especially for this next week when I have a lot going on after work.
3. No eating out or drinking during the week with the exception of Thursday night work social. Sunday night -Friday afternoon (aside from the aforementioned exception) I will prepare all my own meals and will not drink any beer/alcohol. This is me trying to get back to my norm but I will be doing it a bit differently because I am going to play around with some new foods and meal ideas. 

Your job for this week

1. Check in with me (via email, FB, text, whatever) and let me know how you did for week 1. Did you meet your goals? Did you struggle? You can be as brief or thorough as you like. You checking in with me is really you just checking in with you, and then telling me :)
2. Set your goal(s) for week two and include them with your check-in. Please contact me by Monday morning, 3/24/14, with your update of week one and week two goals 

I hope you all enjoyed the first week of the challenge. I know it was certainly eye-opening for me, especially in terms of my eating patterns, and I plan on using what I learned last week and incorporating it into this week's behaviors.

Image from Pinterest

Love, hugs and lots of high fives,

Dacia 

xoxoxox55555

P.S. Feel free to use the hashtag #daciaschallenge on IG or Twitter if you want to share outside of the FB group :)

Hello There...

Hello there! I made it through surgery and am now two days post op.

It was a little dicey there at first. After the surgery I was really out of it, which of course was to be expected, and was really nauseated, too to be expected, and of course I wasn't allowed to move so I was really antsy, anxious and uncomfortable. That first night, or at least the first 5 hours or so I was awake after the surgery were unbearable. I was in a lot of pain. Even the slightest twitch or shift sent me reeling. I was bracing myself for what would be pure hell for the next few weeks.

Then I slept. For about four hours. Until I had to get up so the nurse could remove my catheter. That was at midnight. Why midnight? Why not let me sleep peacefully through that first night? No clue.

But I was up and the catheter came out and so I tried to get up and walk to the bathroom.

But I couldn't. I was hit with nausea, then a wave of dizziness, then tunnel vision. Back to the bed I went. Again, feeling like complete shit, writhing in agony. It was brutal.

I was pretty sure the nausea and dizziness were from both the anesthesia and from not eating anything but a cookie and a popsicle over the las 26 hours. So, I laid in bed and ate an apple and drank some OJ. And by 1am I was up and making my first trip to the bathroom on my own. Big victory for team Dacia.

Then I was up again at 330a. This time I made it up to the bathroom completely unassisted because I couldn't find the call button for the nurse.

Then around 530a I ate another apple (thanks to my vegan nurse who was kind enough to share her lunch with me) and some more OJ. A trip to the bathroom plus a walk to the end of the hall and back and I was starting to feel a bit more optimistic.

My nurses and doctors told me the best thing to do was to keep moving. Not tons but to take short walks every time I get up to go to the bathroom. That sitting for extended periods of time would be hard on my body, I would get stiff and it would make it harder to move around when I did try to. Trust me, I'm not up running any marathons, I am just taking short walks, hunched over like a little old lady. I move but I move very, very slowly.

Throughout the morning I took a couple more walks while waiting to see the surgeon and was almost able to successfully navigate getting in and out of the hospital bed with a little less pain. By early afternoon I was discharged and my friend E took me home.

Yesterday was definitely better than surgery day but it was still very difficult moving around. Not just walking but trying to figure out how to get on/off the couch, on/off the bed, and trying to figure out how/where I could eat. Once I ate dinner I pretty much slept off and on for the remainder of the night. I moved from the couch to the bed (which was really not a fun transition at first) and spent the night sleeping in pretty decent chunks. I think I woke up twice to use the bathroom and on the second trip up I also took some tylenol before heading back to sleep. I woke up around 715a this morning and have been up ever since.

Not sure how or why (maybe it's because I pee so frequently which has caused me to have to be up moving around every hour or two) but today has been pretty awesome. No pain meds, just tylenol. I don't have any real pain, just discomfort from the tight ass binder wrapped around my body and of course the stitches and incisions. And I have managed to get off/on the couch, multiple times, on my own. I can sit upright (albeit hunched over) for short periods of time. I even ate lunch at the dining room table. With the exception of my compression socks, I can pretty much dress/undress myself. I know I still have residual anesthesia and pain meds in my system from Wednesday but I am pretty amazed at the progress I have made. All the nurses told me it would get easier and they were definitely right, even if it didn't feel like that was even possible when they were telling me that.

Speaking of nurses, I had the best nurses and techs in the history of all hospital care. They made my time there really pleasant. They were super caring and understanding and didn't seem to mind when I would break out into a rant of curse words when I was in pain. Between my surgeon, the surgical team and the anesthesia team, as well as all my nurses and techs in recovery and observation I never felt for a moment that I didn't make the right decision. I felt safe and comfortable and because of there positivity and optimism I felt the same. Not only did everyone repeatedly tell me how great I was going to look and how happy I would be with the results, I was constantly praised for my ability to have lost and kept off 130 pounds. That was pretty cool.

Do you know what else was pretty cool? Never feeling for a moment that I was alone in all this. My phone, which was so graciously manned by E during the procedure, never stopped buzzing. From the moment I was able to respond on my own, I was flooded with phone calls, text messages, Facebook posts, messages, tweets, you name it. Friends, family, co-workers. People checking in on me all day (and night) long. Presents and flowers. Well wishes and happy thoughts. It was a bit overwhelming. I cried, a lot. Which wasn't fun because crying (and laughing) hurts. But it was totally worth it. Nothing could ever compare with the outpouring of love I have received and you know what, it's pretty freaking amazing. And humbling. I don't really know what I ever did to deserve so much love and kindness in my life…and I hope you all know that I don't take it for granted for a moment. I know I am the luckiest girl and I am so thankful to have such wonderful people in my life. You guys are truly the best!

And I do have to say a big thank you to E for taking care of me these past few days. I know it hasn't been easy and it was probably way more than he expected. It is amazing having someone in my life to take on all of this and not complain once. And trust me, I can be quite whiney when I am in pain. I know I am not an easy person to put up with so I think he deserves a round of applause and probably some kind of medal of honor or something. That man is a saint.

I have a bunch of pictures of me pre-op but I think I will hold off on sharing until I have some post-op to share which won't be until 12/24. I will remain in these bandages and binder with these two drains until the 24th. Then my surgeon will remove the binder, the bandages, and one (if not both) of the drains. Then I will be able to shower! Yay! The binder will stay for a month though. And then after that it will be spanx for a year. I am guessing I will adjust to both although right now it seems kind of like a year of medieval torture. But in the end, it will be worth it.

So tonight I will leave you with two things:

This amazing song my friend Kelly wrote for me (actually she wrote two, maybe I will share the other one in the next post)

Today's song -- Sing to "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" 

Oh, my surgery was so frightful
But the results are so delightful
And I’ll be rockin’ an awesome bod
Head to toe! Head to toe! Head to toe!

Though it doesn’t show, I’m all stapled
But I’m far from being disabled
It’s time to get outta here
Lemme go! Lemme go! Lemme go!

I may have been slightly bitchy
‘Cuz the food was oh so icky
But I’ll be feelin’ good soon enough…
Gimme drugs! Gimme drugs! Gimme drugs!

Bridge:

When I finally leave Sacred Heart
How I’ll love to eat vegan again
So doctor please set me free
So I can get food in these veins!

Oh, the morphine has long worn off
But the itching is really tough
I could really use a change of clothes
And a bath! And a bath! And a bath!

The day is slowly breaking
And my tummy’s really aching
I'm craving quinoa and beer...
Lemme go! Lemme go! Lemme go!

And some ridiculous pictures of me before and after surgery…

It's a tiara!!!

Pretty delirious but I was still able to eat a popsicle…priorities….

I'm awake??? Who took this picture anyway??? Seems kind of mean… ;)

Sitting at the table…almost back to normal, just two days post-op

Thanks again for being here with me…every step of the way. 

So for tonight I say…

thank you

i love you

you rock!

Love and hugs,

    Always,

          Dacia 

Walking Away...

There is so much I want to write about but I am just not sure where to start.

Maybe I should start here…

I am very fortunate to have the life I have today. Very fortunate for my health, my friends and family, love, happiness, kindness, compassion- I have it all. I don’t take these things for granted. I am lucky that I have been able to surround myself with positive and like-minded individuals who have always cared for me and loved me, as is.

That’s a really big deal.

Having positive people around me makes it easier to be a positive person.

Having accepting people in my life that let me be me, without judgment (because honestly- what right is it of ours to judge others), have made it easier for me to be accepting and non-judgmental.

But of course there will always be people in my life, acquaintances, co-workers, strangers at the gym, etc., that I have no control over. I can keep my circle of friends and family tight, surround myself with only those who represent the type of person I aim to be ,but I have no control as to what happens on the periphery of that circle.

This week I have been hit hard. By someone I thought was in my circle, someone I considered a friend.

I have just been overwhelmed with negative feelings and emotions all week long.

Maybe I brought this on myself. My actions have consequences, I know that.

And I need to stop here and say that this has nothing to do with Paul, he and I are good. We are actually hanging out tonight. I am getting to spend the night with the pups. He and I are adults and are handling this whole divorce in a mature and civil fashion.

Others in my life, not so much.

But here is the thing…before I go off into a diatribe about this whole shitty situation, which I shouldn’t because that whole mess isn’t worth the space of a few lines on my blog…

The thing is…it is important to know when to cut your losses and walk away.

That’s what I had to do this week. It sucked. It’s been a really long time since I had to make the tough decision to end a friendship. And to clarify, this friendship was over- I had to make the decision to stop fighting to revive it. To stop fighting to try and fix something that probably shouldn’t be fixed.

Because ultimately, I need good people in my life. Loving, kind, caring people who recognize I am a human being too. I have flaws. I make mistakes. I hurt and feel pain. And I love so deeply. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am easily crushed because of it. That’s me.

And someone that doesn’t get that…well they probably shouldn’t be in my life.

I know that.

And I know that I have so many wonderful people in my life that I don’t need to fight for one that doesn’t want to be a part of it.

But it still hurts.

Every day.

But…it gets easier.

So today, today I chose to focus on my circle. The amazing people I get to call friends. The loves of my life, my soul mates, my beacons of hope…

And today I chose to ignore what lies out in the periphery.

Because those people are not what matter to me.

You are. And today, just like every day, I am thankful for you.

Love and kisses,

Dacia

Faith

Today I feel very fortunate.

Not to say that I don’t feel this way most days. I do. I know how lucky I am and I try to never take that for granted.

But today…

Today I am overwhelmed with these feelings of gratitude and gratefulness.

It feels amazing to walk outside and feel the warmth from the sun against my face, the cool fall breezes against my skin.  I look around and see a million and one reasons to be thankful for this life. Thankful for where I am.

Even when life is hard I am thankful.

Maybe it is the challenges and struggles that make it easier to recognize the greatness of everything around me. Make me recognize how many things I have to be thankful for.

And I think even in the darkest of times it is important to hold onto that thankfulness, that appreciation, to help you not become so lost. So overwhelmed. So scared.

I read this sign the other day on the wall of my therapist’s office. It said;

“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”

I have acceptance of what is. My path through this life has brought me here. This is where I am meant to be. I accept that. Openly. Honestly. Whole-heartedly.

I have worked very hard to let go of what was. Those things I cannot change. Those things that have shaped and molded me and made me the person I am today. I have no regrets. I no longer live in the past, longing for once was. I am here, today, now. This is my life. And it is awesome.

I NEED to have faith in what will be. Most days I do. I am nothing if not an overly optimistic person and I have floated through my life on the ideal that everything will work out in the end. I believe that to be 100% true. Today, though, as my life has started to change into something completely different, I step into the unknown leaving behind my safety net. And because of this I need to remind myself (over and over) to have faith in what will be.

I just need a little faith.

Because there really should not be a single doubt in my mind that I am destined for something great. My life is, has been, and will continue to be amazing.

And for that I am grateful.

How?

Just the other day I was talking with a friend/co-worker of mine. He kind of knows a bit of my story (you know, the whole I lost a whole normal sized person’s worth of weight thing) and I kind of tell him here and there about how that has changed me.

Changed me in ways I couldn’t have even begun to imagine.

Yesterday I started to tell him about this part of my story. The blog. The network I have because of it. The insane affect social media has had on my life. The support. The friendships. The bestest of memories. And how I really would not be where I am today without any of it.

Did he fully understand it? Probably not. I tried to paint a good picture but it’s hard to really understand this relationship, this lifestyle, unless you live it.

But one of the things I really could not stress to him enough was the mental aspect of weight loss. How working through my underlying issues (some of them I am sure are still buried inside me somewhere) was way more difficult than losing the weight. That trying to find acceptance in myself (and others) is often at times challenging, and has definitely at times felt impossible. That the unconscious habit of comparing myself to other people has yet to go away. How every day (even 123 pounds later) I still have to make a conscious effort to implement the plans I set for myself, the ones that will get me to my goals.

Has it gotten easier? Sure. After 31 months I would hope it would. But every day isn’t easy. There are setbacks. Days I just want to throw my hands up and say eff it all. Days where I hide from my friends, my network, because I am ashamed. Days when someone else’s progress and achievement makes me feel bad about myself. It happens.

I’m human.

But I am getting better. And yes, it is getting easier.

Today, I am proud of me.

Today, I know I am doing the best I can in this moment.

Today, I know I have a plethora of resources available to help me through anything in my life.

Today, I love myself a whole hell of a lot more than I did 31 months ago.

Today, I know I am worth it.

And that is awesome…

For me.

But through this journey, my journey, I learned my life is so much more than just me. It’s way more than what I need and what my goals are.

My life became about all of you, too.

About trying to be a better friend.

About trying to be someone else’s support system.

A resource for others to reach out and find.

A helping hand.

And above all a person who can show others they are important. That they are beautiful and smart and funny and loving and all the wonderful things that make them who they are. A person who stops with the judging and helps others to do the same. A person that can help others find acceptance, their self-love, just like so many women in my life have helped me do.

I really just want to be a person that can do some good. Give back all that has been given to me. To make the people in my life feel as awesome and loved as they make me feel.

I want to do more.

I am filled with so much gratitude and hope and strength and encouragement and I just want to share that with you.

So, I ask you this…how?

How can I be that person?

Serious question here folks, I really don’t know. I just know I want to do more.

This picture is completely irrelevant to the post. Just wanted to share another one of my happy places. Me and my favrorite tree- Smiley :)

Post Number One: Motivation

On Friday, I posted on the R.R.R. Facebook page about the idea of writing a post (or series) geared around healthy habits. I got some great feedback (which I always love and appreciate) and based off of the comments I think I will make this a series. Today’s post will be the first and it is all about MOTIVATION.

There is a lot I can say about motivation but maybe the first thing I should say is- I’m no expert. Well I mean, I am pretty good at finding and staying motivated, but I am just me. I am not a trainer, or coach, or any type of fitness guru. I am just one person who lost a bunch of weight and shares those details publicly. This is what has worked (and not worked) for me. It is up to you to figure out what works for you. I’m just here to encourage and support J

Ok, motivation. That slippery little snake. Often it can slip through my fingers just as soon as I get a grasp of it, other times I can coax it to stay around. It’s not always easy to find it. Sometimes it’s really just the ‘fake it until you make it’ attitude that is all you have. So where do you start?

I am guessing if you are searching for motivation there is probably something in your life you want to change or a goal you are trying to achieve. Maybe weight loss, training for a race, or even just cooking your meals at home- all of these require some motivation to get started. So my first recommendation would be to set some goals. Write them down, blog about them, tell friends/family, put them out on social media- whatever. For me, having goals (and sharing them) is a really great starting point to find motivation.

And make sure these are SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound) goals.  Don’t just say “I want to lose weight”, say “I want to lose 5 lbs. this month” or instead of “I want to run a 5K” say “I want to run a 5K in November and I will train using the C25K plan” or something specific like that.

You need these goals in order to put a plan together. Because without a plan a goal is just a sentence.  So take your goal (or goals) and write up how you plan on achieving them. Create an outline, a schedule, a meal plan/grocery list; whatever you need to get from the starting point to the ending point. And maybe you don’t know all of your needs but start with something and feel free to go back and tweak it at any time. This plan is not set in stone. Make sure you don’t treat it like it is.

Ok, with me so far? You have your goals, you have your plan, you are ready to get started…at this point you should be pretty excited. I know I always get very excited when I am about to embark into something new. That excitement is usually enough motivation to get me going. The first few days/weeks are easiest to stay excited about. And I think this is probably true for most people. I would guess that what most people really struggle with is staying motivated (dedicated, committed, whatever you want to call it) once you have been working your plan for a while. Or staying motivated when things don’t go as you had anticipated. Or if you aren’t getting the results you want. Or when life just gets in the way. How do you stay motivated then?

Here’s what works for me:

1.       Really pay attention (I first achieved this through journaling) to how good your body feels from making positive changes in your life. Note how you feel after you exercise, or eat a really nutritious homemade meal, or get in short walks throughout the day. Recognize the impact these events have on your energy level, your sleep, your digestion- any physical cue your body is sending off. The reverse is important too. Recognize how you feel when you don’t work out, when you eat fast food, when you sit all day long and note those physical cues. Associate the good behaviors/positive cues and the ‘bad’ behaviors/negative cues. Once you have started to really understand the impact of your choices motivation comes a lot easier.  Trust me, at 4 or 5am when I am trying to rationalize shutting off the alarm and going back to bed the one thing that gets me up and going is knowing how good I will feel physically and mentally after a workout. No extra amount of sleep could replicate that feeling- exercise (almost always) wins.

 

2.       Surround yourself with positive influences. Not only will having positive people in your life help make you a more positive person but they also make it easier to make positive changes. Just like you may want to go through the fridge or pantry and toss out expired (or trigger) foods, you may want to think about the people in your life- friends, family- and get rid of (or at least spend less time with) those that are either a negative influence on you or those who do not support and encourage you. Ok, easier said than done. I know. And maybe you can’t ‘get rid’ of these people. But you can tell them what you need from them, support, encouragement, guidance, friendship, etc., and hope they can become a positive influence for you. If that doesn’t work, maybe try adding more friends that are positive- try to outweigh the negativity with positivity. In this day and age this is a very easy thing to do. You can find so many people out there on FB, twitter, blogging, that are going through similar journeys and can provide tons of insight and encouragement. Look at me- when I first started this journey (my original blog, 2.5 years ago) I told a few friends. That group of 5 or 6 has now grown to tens or hundreds of people that I engage with regularly, that I look to for guidance, that I lean on for support.  It is not only doable to create your own positive community- I strongly advise you to do so.

 

3.       Don’t beat yourself and don’t hide.  It is so easy to have negative felings of failure take over all of your good intentions. A couple missed workouts, a couple ‘bad’ meals and poof….it’s time to throw in the towel. But honestly, it really isn’t. No matter how bad things get – it is always fixable. You can always turn things around. But don’t hide form the people that will help you get back on track. Often times we (and of course by that I mean me) feel like we have to hide away from our support system. That any faltering from our path will be seen as a failure. That people will judge us. But they won’t.  I think pretty much everyone understands when traveling from point A to point B we rarely ever go in a straight path. Taking a couple wrong turns, looping back around, and sometimes even backtracking does not mean failure…it just means there were little lessons to be learned along the way. All of this, the good and the bad, is all part of the journey. So, don’t beat yourself up and don’t hide away. Learn from those missteps, change your behaviors accordingly, and lean on your support system for extra guidance. There is motivation to be found when you realize that you are truly never that far from your original path.

4.       Find what works for you. Maybe this should have been number 1. And I am sure I sound like a broken record with this one but seriously. It is really hard to stay motivated when you are doing things you really don’t like. If you hate running, don’t run. Try cycling. Or yoga. Or long walks with your dogs. If doing something is making you miserable you will only be able to force yourself to do it for so long. We are not all the same. We like different foods, our bodies like different movement forms. That doesn’t make one person better or worse than another- it just means we are all unique. Not liking something does not make you a failure. But quitting everything because you don’t like one thing- well that’s just an overreaction. And I get it- finding out what works for you can be tough. Maybe you can’t afford a gym membership or don’t have access to group fitness classes. Do you have a library? Check out some workout DVDs. No library- download a free workout app onto your phone for ideas. No smartphone? Hit the closest playground. Go for a walk, swing from the monkey bars, climb a tree. Heck, you can even go fly a kite. Don’t let dislike for one particular thing stop you from getting healthy and active. Just keep searching for what you love. It may require some outside the box thinking but once you find it it will be so much easier to keep motivated. The same thing goes for food and training plans. Be adaptable, flexible, and always willing to change to make things work for you.

 

5.       Find little things along your path that will help keep you motivated. So, let’s say you are training for a 5K. And let’s say you are, in fact, using the couch to 5K program. Maybe you can use the idea of having three running workouts weekly to hit as a mini-goal. Or maybe use hitting a new running distance or time as a mini-goal. For me, it took me about four months to go from running my first mile to running 3.1 miles at a 5K event. Four months may not seem like much but when you are training for something waiting 4 months before you get to that point seems like forever. It can be easy to lose focus or motivation in four months. So I set mini-goals. I worked towards running for 15 minutes non-stop, or running 2 miles, or finishing all three runs in a week. Things like that. I am sure you have heard this before. It’s not a novel idea but it works wonders for me. Same with weight loss. When I started out at 286 lbs. my goal wasn’t to get to 150 lbs. (ok, it kind of was my ultimate goal) but instead my goal was to lose ten pounds. Then once I hit that goal, and rewarded myself with something non-food related, I worked towards those next ten pounds. Mini-goals plus rewards always helped keep me motivated.

 

6.       Understand why it is so important for you to keep motivated, to follow through on your goals. Are you sick and trying to work towards being healthier? Do you have a family and maybe you want to get in shape so you can be more actively involved? Are you someone’s role model? Are you trying to cross something off a bucket list? What is the underlying reason behind these changes/goals? THAT IS YOUR MOTIVATION! Write it down. Make it a mantra. Never let that reason get pushed aside. For me it was my health. I don’t want to die young nor do I want to be extremely sick and die a slow, horribly painful death. I would/will do everything in my power to prevent that. No, it’s not always easy. Yes, there are days when I am not motivated, when my mindset isn’t in the right place. That happens. BUT, it is very important to go back to the why. That reason why will help keep you motivated. It’s just up to you to figure out how to bring that reason why to the forefront of your mind and keep it there as often as possible. Be creative. Post family pictures around your treadmill, where a bracelet representing your cause or displaying your mantra, keep old (or current) pictures of yourself, do whatever you need to do. Because ultimately- finding your motivation and keeping it is on you.

That being said, I am always here. I will gladly call/text/email/message you any time of day whenever you need it. I have been practicing my Jillian Michaels impression so I can either yell at you or I can just be myself and try to give you loving words of encouragement. Whatever you need J You know how to reach me.

What healthy habits would you like for me to talk about? I have a few ideas but would love to hear more. Also, any ideas for a name for this series? Gosh, I am so not creative…

Tip of the Week

I read this today and just had to share. It was emailed out at work to those participating in a weight loss challenge. It was sent to us from United Healthcare. I wasn’t quite sure how to cite a flyer I received in an email but I figured I somehow needed to disclose that this was written and published by someone else (United Healthcare) and not by me.

However, this tip resonated with me so much because the issues it is discussing have been issues that keep popping up in my mind lately.

So, without further ado- here is the tip of the week from United Healthcare:

Tip of the week

Find support

As you reach for your goals, you may find that you are changing many of your current behaviors. These lifestyle changes may affect those around you. Some may be more supportive than others. For instance, some families may support your decisions but not want to change themselves.

Think about who you rely on for support — family members, friends, co-workers, others? Are they supportive of your new lifestyle changes? It can be more difficult to change without a strong support system. Find a good support system and let others know how they can support your healthy lifestyle.

Ways to help me eat healthy and move more

·         Choose and eat healthy foods with me

·         Go for a walk with me or ask me to do other physical activities with you

·         Don’t tempt me with less healthy foods as a reward or gift

·         Plan social events around being active

·         Don’t offer me second helpings

·         Encourage me to cook or try new foods

·         Help me with my other responsibilities so I can prepare healthy foods and be more active

·         Encourage me to go for a walk when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed

·         Praise my efforts to change

Wow! I think this is spot on. Support is key to success. This is why so many of us have found success through Weight Watchers, right? I know I am not the only one who thinks that they need, and rely on having, a solid support system because I have talked to so many other who feel the same way.

But what happens when you change and the people in your life don’t want to/need to/care to? How do you maintain relationships that were built on a entirely different foundation? How do you balance your new needs with the needs of others when they may be conflicting needs?

I don’t have all the answers. I have let some of my closer relationships fall to the wayside because I couldn’t figure this out. I wish I knew how to please everyone but I am not sure you can. Can you?

On a more upbeat note I love this one bullet point in particular:

·         Plan social events around being active

This is one of my favorite things to do. It’s not always easy to come up with fun ideas but the effort is always worth it.

And on that note, I am off to try to plan a fun activity night. Maybe another girls night out roller skating. J

“It is important that you recognize your progress and take pride in your accomplishments. Share your achievements with others. Brag a little. The recognition and support of those around you is nurturing.” Rosemarie Rossetti