Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts

Monday, July 7, 2014

I'm Not Afraid of Failure


I’m not afraid of failure.  

Let me explain why…

About 4 years ago my employer was one of the sponsors for a 5K in with proceeds raised set to benefit the Wounded Warrior Project. A bunch of my co-workers were going to be participating and I was encouraged to join them. I knew Paul (my ex-husband) would want to participate as well since he was big into running and in the military. So I signed up but made sure everyone knew I would be walking, just out there to support the cause and have fun with some friends.

This was my first official 5K.

I was close to 300 pounds at the time.

And…I finished last.

And guess what???? No one boo’d me. The crowds didn’t throw stuff at me or (possibly worse) even laugh at me. I wasn’t punished because I came in last. Seriously, there is no secret torture chamber for those who finish last. Trust me.

I finished, people applauded, the announcer called my name and that was that.

And I wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed. Or at least looking back on it I don’t remember ever feeling that way.

Actually finishing last was really no big deal. I didn’t treat it like it should have been and neither did anyone else. I crossed the finish line, walked over to grab a banana and some water, and talk to my friends…some of which finished in the top 3 overall. I was proud of them.

But I was also proud of me. I could have stayed home that Saturday morning. No one forced me to be there or participate. But I did it anyway. Even at my size, even during a point of time where weight loss and being active were the furthest things from my mind. I still did it.

I like to think back on that day whenever I am trying new things or setting new goals or coming up with crazy ideas that scare me as a reminder...

I think about how my life has been limited in the past because of my fear of failure and how unnecessary it was for me to let that emotion dictate my actions.

I think back on that 5K and am thankful for the chance to see what “failure” felt and looked like and how much it changed my life – for the positive.

I think back to how much I have learned and grown and changed and adapted and thrived because I have failed.

Failure is not something to be afraid of.

On the contrary, failure is necessary to truly live life.
 
Thanks google for this awesome quote!

This, my friends, is why I say that I am not afraid of failure.

But there is something I am afraid of (it scares me to my core) but that is a post for another time…

Until then, keep being awesome and never let the fear of failure (whatever you define it as) stop you from kicking ass in this life!

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxoxox

Monday, August 19, 2013

Post Number One: Motivation


On Friday, I posted on the R.R.R. Facebook page about the idea of writing a post (or series) geared around healthy habits. I got some great feedback (which I always love and appreciate) and based off of the comments I think I will make this a series. Today’s post will be the first and it is all about MOTIVATION.

There is a lot I can say about motivation but maybe the first thing I should say is- I’m no expert. Well I mean, I am pretty good at finding and staying motivated, but I am just me. I am not a trainer, or coach, or any type of fitness guru. I am just one person who lost a bunch of weight and shares those details publicly. This is what has worked (and not worked) for me. It is up to you to figure out what works for you. I’m just here to encourage and support J

Ok, motivation. That slippery little snake. Often it can slip through my fingers just as soon as I get a grasp of it, other times I can coax it to stay around. It’s not always easy to find it. Sometimes it’s really just the ‘fake it until you make it’ attitude that is all you have. So where do you start?

I am guessing if you are searching for motivation there is probably something in your life you want to change or a goal you are trying to achieve. Maybe weight loss, training for a race, or even just cooking your meals at home- all of these require some motivation to get started. So my first recommendation would be to set some goals. Write them down, blog about them, tell friends/family, put them out on social media- whatever. For me, having goals (and sharing them) is a really great starting point to find motivation.

And make sure these are SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound) goals.  Don’t just say “I want to lose weight”, say “I want to lose 5 lbs. this month” or instead of “I want to run a 5K” say “I want to run a 5K in November and I will train using the C25K plan” or something specific like that.

You need these goals in order to put a plan together. Because without a plan a goal is just a sentence.  So take your goal (or goals) and write up how you plan on achieving them. Create an outline, a schedule, a meal plan/grocery list; whatever you need to get from the starting point to the ending point. And maybe you don’t know all of your needs but start with something and feel free to go back and tweak it at any time. This plan is not set in stone. Make sure you don’t treat it like it is.

Ok, with me so far? You have your goals, you have your plan, you are ready to get started…at this point you should be pretty excited. I know I always get very excited when I am about to embark into something new. That excitement is usually enough motivation to get me going. The first few days/weeks are easiest to stay excited about. And I think this is probably true for most people. I would guess that what most people really struggle with is staying motivated (dedicated, committed, whatever you want to call it) once you have been working your plan for a while. Or staying motivated when things don’t go as you had anticipated. Or if you aren’t getting the results you want. Or when life just gets in the way. How do you stay motivated then?

Here’s what works for me:

1.       Really pay attention (I first achieved this through journaling) to how good your body feels from making positive changes in your life. Note how you feel after you exercise, or eat a really nutritious homemade meal, or get in short walks throughout the day. Recognize the impact these events have on your energy level, your sleep, your digestion- any physical cue your body is sending off. The reverse is important too. Recognize how you feel when you don’t work out, when you eat fast food, when you sit all day long and note those physical cues. Associate the good behaviors/positive cues and the ‘bad’ behaviors/negative cues. Once you have started to really understand the impact of your choices motivation comes a lot easier.  Trust me, at 4 or 5am when I am trying to rationalize shutting off the alarm and going back to bed the one thing that gets me up and going is knowing how good I will feel physically and mentally after a workout. No extra amount of sleep could replicate that feeling- exercise (almost always) wins.

 

2.       Surround yourself with positive influences. Not only will having positive people in your life help make you a more positive person but they also make it easier to make positive changes. Just like you may want to go through the fridge or pantry and toss out expired (or trigger) foods, you may want to think about the people in your life- friends, family- and get rid of (or at least spend less time with) those that are either a negative influence on you or those who do not support and encourage you. Ok, easier said than done. I know. And maybe you can’t ‘get rid’ of these people. But you can tell them what you need from them, support, encouragement, guidance, friendship, etc., and hope they can become a positive influence for you. If that doesn’t work, maybe try adding more friends that are positive- try to outweigh the negativity with positivity. In this day and age this is a very easy thing to do. You can find so many people out there on FB, twitter, blogging, that are going through similar journeys and can provide tons of insight and encouragement. Look at me- when I first started this journey (my original blog, 2.5 years ago) I told a few friends. That group of 5 or 6 has now grown to tens or hundreds of people that I engage with regularly, that I look to for guidance, that I lean on for support.  It is not only doable to create your own positive community- I strongly advise you to do so.

 

3.       Don’t beat yourself and don’t hide.  It is so easy to have negative felings of failure take over all of your good intentions. A couple missed workouts, a couple ‘bad’ meals and poof….it’s time to throw in the towel. But honestly, it really isn’t. No matter how bad things get – it is always fixable. You can always turn things around. But don’t hide form the people that will help you get back on track. Often times we (and of course by that I mean me) feel like we have to hide away from our support system. That any faltering from our path will be seen as a failure. That people will judge us. But they won’t.  I think pretty much everyone understands when traveling from point A to point B we rarely ever go in a straight path. Taking a couple wrong turns, looping back around, and sometimes even backtracking does not mean failure…it just means there were little lessons to be learned along the way. All of this, the good and the bad, is all part of the journey. So, don’t beat yourself up and don’t hide away. Learn from those missteps, change your behaviors accordingly, and lean on your support system for extra guidance. There is motivation to be found when you realize that you are truly never that far from your original path.

4.       Find what works for you. Maybe this should have been number 1. And I am sure I sound like a broken record with this one but seriously. It is really hard to stay motivated when you are doing things you really don’t like. If you hate running, don’t run. Try cycling. Or yoga. Or long walks with your dogs. If doing something is making you miserable you will only be able to force yourself to do it for so long. We are not all the same. We like different foods, our bodies like different movement forms. That doesn’t make one person better or worse than another- it just means we are all unique. Not liking something does not make you a failure. But quitting everything because you don’t like one thing- well that’s just an overreaction. And I get it- finding out what works for you can be tough. Maybe you can’t afford a gym membership or don’t have access to group fitness classes. Do you have a library? Check out some workout DVDs. No library- download a free workout app onto your phone for ideas. No smartphone? Hit the closest playground. Go for a walk, swing from the monkey bars, climb a tree. Heck, you can even go fly a kite. Don’t let dislike for one particular thing stop you from getting healthy and active. Just keep searching for what you love. It may require some outside the box thinking but once you find it it will be so much easier to keep motivated. The same thing goes for food and training plans. Be adaptable, flexible, and always willing to change to make things work for you.

 

5.       Find little things along your path that will help keep you motivated. So, let’s say you are training for a 5K. And let’s say you are, in fact, using the couch to 5K program. Maybe you can use the idea of having three running workouts weekly to hit as a mini-goal. Or maybe use hitting a new running distance or time as a mini-goal. For me, it took me about four months to go from running my first mile to running 3.1 miles at a 5K event. Four months may not seem like much but when you are training for something waiting 4 months before you get to that point seems like forever. It can be easy to lose focus or motivation in four months. So I set mini-goals. I worked towards running for 15 minutes non-stop, or running 2 miles, or finishing all three runs in a week. Things like that. I am sure you have heard this before. It’s not a novel idea but it works wonders for me. Same with weight loss. When I started out at 286 lbs. my goal wasn’t to get to 150 lbs. (ok, it kind of was my ultimate goal) but instead my goal was to lose ten pounds. Then once I hit that goal, and rewarded myself with something non-food related, I worked towards those next ten pounds. Mini-goals plus rewards always helped keep me motivated.

 

6.       Understand why it is so important for you to keep motivated, to follow through on your goals. Are you sick and trying to work towards being healthier? Do you have a family and maybe you want to get in shape so you can be more actively involved? Are you someone’s role model? Are you trying to cross something off a bucket list? What is the underlying reason behind these changes/goals? THAT IS YOUR MOTIVATION! Write it down. Make it a mantra. Never let that reason get pushed aside. For me it was my health. I don’t want to die young nor do I want to be extremely sick and die a slow, horribly painful death. I would/will do everything in my power to prevent that. No, it’s not always easy. Yes, there are days when I am not motivated, when my mindset isn’t in the right place. That happens. BUT, it is very important to go back to the why. That reason why will help keep you motivated. It’s just up to you to figure out how to bring that reason why to the forefront of your mind and keep it there as often as possible. Be creative. Post family pictures around your treadmill, where a bracelet representing your cause or displaying your mantra, keep old (or current) pictures of yourself, do whatever you need to do. Because ultimately- finding your motivation and keeping it is on you.

That being said, I am always here. I will gladly call/text/email/message you any time of day whenever you need it. I have been practicing my Jillian Michaels impression so I can either yell at you or I can just be myself and try to give you loving words of encouragement. Whatever you need J You know how to reach me.

What healthy habits would you like for me to talk about? I have a few ideas but would love to hear more. Also, any ideas for a name for this series? Gosh, I am so not creative…

Friday, January 11, 2013

Some Thoughts

I’ve had a lot on my mind these last few weeks. Maybe it’s because with the New Year comes new resolutions and these resolutions send the diet industry into a frenzy. Everywhere I look I see ads and messages and tweets and posts for what I deem as highly unrealistic promises to change your life in a very short period of time. This makes me so angry.
It makes me angry because I was once hopeless, desperate and broken. And these messages made me feel that a) fast (sustainable) results were possible and b) if I wasn’t achieving fast results then I was just a big fat FAILURE. Countless times I set out to lose weight and countless times I felt utterly defeated when after a few weeks I wasn’t seeing huge losses. I was obese; shouldn’t I be losing 10 pounds a week? Or even 10 pounds a month?
I didn’t know any better. And looking back on where I was when I started I am amazed I stuck with it. I truly believe the only reason I was able to make it past that place of feeling like I was fighting a losing battle was because when I started this journey the last time I was at rock bottom. I was hanging onto the tiniest thread of hope. But I knew that if I didn’t commit to changing my life fully I was signing my own death certificate.
And thankfully this time around I shared all of this with my friends and family instead of hiding it like it was something to be embarrassed by. In turn I ended up with the greatest support network that has guided my through this adventure. Not a day goes by without me feeling grateful for the constant outpouring of love and support I receive. It has helped me win this internal battle I was once fighting. The battle to find acceptance and peace with the person I am. The battle to not hate myself for who I was, or even who I am now, and instead love myself AS IS. Admitting to myself that I am and will always be a work in progress- and that is a GREAT thing.
When I started this journey almost two years ago I didn’t have all the answers. I definitely had unrealistic goals (trying to run at 286 for me was unrealistic) and really crazy eating habits. I was reading back on my first blog (thirtythreeandcounting.com) the other day, looking through some of my very first posts and do you know what? When I first started out I was dieting- I was supplementing two meals a day with Slim Fast shakes. What? Really! I don’t even remember that! Lol! But it’s true. Me, the crazy, in your face, whole-foods vegan was not only following some crazy gimmick I was downing two cans of liquid crap a day.
But how I started isn’t really important, is it? The important part was that I started.
So here is my advice to you. To anyone just starting out or anyone who is struggling on their journey I say this.
Start your journey knowing that you will make so many changes and try so many new things and that is ok. It’s really the best way. Find what works for you. And if something isn’t working don’t be afraid to stop that and try something new. Your path is not a straight line. Your path may even lead you back to your starting point but don’t give up. You are worth it!
Put yourself and your health first. You are and should always be your #1 priority. This is often hard to do but it is imperative you figure out how to do it. Strive to find balance in your life. Be active. Be social. Maybe even search for ways to do both at the same time like family bike rides or girls night out at a skating rink. Spend time with your family. Spend time alone. Have hobbies. Have passions.
Eat for fuel and nourishment. Listen to your body. It will tell you what it wants. Look to others for ideas but don’t feel you have to copy them. What has worked for me might not work for you. Be creative. Use your food to help you grow stronger and faster, to help you sleep better, to help you become happier. If you let it be, food can be your medicine. It can offer everything your body needs to thrive.
Get moving. Whether it is a walk in the park or gardening or spin class get up and get active. Be courageous and adventurous when it comes to physical activity. Search for the activities you love to do so this way it becomes a fun way to spend an hour- not dreaded torture. If you hate what you are doing you will find an excuse not to do it. We are not all runners, weight lifters, or dancers. We are all different. Just like food, it is equally important to find what activities work best for you. This is the key to making sustainable changes.
This is YOUR new life so fill it with what YOU want to be doing.
Get some sleep. Your body NEEDS it! 7-8 hours is ideal. Sleep deprivation is a stressor on the body just the same way junk food and inactivity are. Take care of your body and in turn it will take care of you.
And lastly, don’t fall into the comparison trap. It’s pointless. We should only measure ourselves today against the person we were yesterday. You are you, I am me. Our stories will never be the same. Trust me there will always be someone who has lost more weight than you, and probably even faster (it’s not a race!), there will always be someone who can run faster or farther than you, someone who is stronger, someone who has a better job/house/family/life. You get the point. So to help me push those evil little thoughts out of my head when I start falling down the rabbit hole I say to myself: be proud to know someone who has fought so hard for those results, celebrate with them their successes, look to them for guidance and motivation but always know there is someone else out there who is thinking of me the same way so be a good example. Be humble, gracious, and kind. Be a friend.  Because before you know it today will be your day 100 and someone out there on their day 1 is looking to you. Be the person you looked to on your day 1.
And I vow to do the same.
"I believe life is to be lived, not worked, enjoyed, not agonized, loved, not hated." ~Leland Bartlett

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Tip of the Week

I read this today and just had to share. It was emailed out at work to those participating in a weight loss challenge. It was sent to us from United Healthcare. I wasn’t quite sure how to cite a flyer I received in an email but I figured I somehow needed to disclose that this was written and published by someone else (United Healthcare) and not by me.
However, this tip resonated with me so much because the issues it is discussing have been issues that keep popping up in my mind lately.
So, without further ado- here is the tip of the week from United Healthcare:
Tip of the week
Find support
As you reach for your goals, you may find that you are changing many of your current behaviors. These lifestyle changes may affect those around you. Some may be more supportive than others. For instance, some families may support your decisions but not want to change themselves.
Think about who you rely on for support — family members, friends, co-workers, others? Are they supportive of your new lifestyle changes? It can be more difficult to change without a strong support system. Find a good support system and let others know how they can support your healthy lifestyle.
Ways to help me eat healthy and move more
·         Choose and eat healthy foods with me
·         Go for a walk with me or ask me to do other physical activities with you
·         Don’t tempt me with less healthy foods as a reward or gift
·         Plan social events around being active
·         Don’t offer me second helpings
·         Encourage me to cook or try new foods
·         Help me with my other responsibilities so I can prepare healthy foods and be more active
·         Encourage me to go for a walk when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed
·         Praise my efforts to change
Wow! I think this is spot on. Support is key to success. This is why so many of us have found success through Weight Watchers, right? I know I am not the only one who thinks that they need, and rely on having, a solid support system because I have talked to so many other who feel the same way.
But what happens when you change and the people in your life don’t want to/need to/care to? How do you maintain relationships that were built on a entirely different foundation? How do you balance your new needs with the needs of others when they may be conflicting needs?
I don’t have all the answers. I have let some of my closer relationships fall to the wayside because I couldn’t figure this out. I wish I knew how to please everyone but I am not sure you can. Can you?
On a more upbeat note I love this one bullet point in particular:
·         Plan social events around being active
This is one of my favorite things to do. It’s not always easy to come up with fun ideas but the effort is always worth it.
And on that note, I am off to try to plan a fun activity night. Maybe another girls night out roller skating. J