Super Quick Post

I would love to stay and chat but life right now....well, let's just say I am operating on very limited free time.

This week...

Is the last week for one of my grad classes and I have a paper and project due Sunday. STRESS!

AND I am going out of town Friday so it needs to be finished by Thursday. More STRESS! (Always, even when I know it will get finished in time and it won't be that bad- the days leading up to the end of a course are always stressful to me)

Crazy cold front moving in and it will be in the low teens (possibly lower) with the windchill in the mornings...might not seem too terribly bad for most but we were enjoying our 70 degree temps this weekend, I can't handle 12 degrees. All running this week will be done indoors- BOOOOOOOO!

Half marathon training, as always it seems. No complaints though. Next one is less than 2 weeks away. I have been supplementing my training with some Les Mills Combat (love it!) and have even taken a few Barre classes this past month.

Gordie is doing awesome. We actually ran into the owner of Gordie's two sisters Friday night while we were out at the brewery (aren't dog friendly places the best?) and we have a plans for future play dates/doggy family reunion.

He's getting so big! Not even 6 months yet! 

Wedding planning has slowed significantly...we have so much already taken care of we are kind of on a break until it comes time to order the invitations in April. Yay us! Go team La-Root!

Getting ready to build my third garden some time in early March. We dumped our first batch of compost from our yard into garden one, which is currently empty (all foods have been harvested and enjoyed), in preparations for planting. We have some big plans this spring for the yard and the gardens. I cannot wait to share them all with you!

Last week I got some really shitty news that broke my heart. One day I may share here but for now lets just say I am devastated, sad, angry and racked with guilt. It's been a really rough week.

BUT- as much as this past week wore me down and left me with not a single tear left to cry I am so thankful for the people in my life that were there to help pick me back up and take my mind off of the bad, even if it was just temporary. Thank you all for your love and support!

Enjoying some of the Mardi Gras festivities...

Love and hugs,
Dacia
xoxoxox

Plans and Lists and Lists and Plans

Under normal circumstances I would say that consider myself a planner. I like routine (with a dash of spontaneity) and I like having control of my life where I can – diet, exercise, sleep, etc. I wasn't always this way but it is the person I have become and it is the lifestyle that works best for me.

Now that I have thrown wedding planning into the mix of my normal busy but planned out life things have gotten exponentially crazier with the planning and the lists. It’s a good thing (great thing actually) but I also know I am walking a fine line between being in control of my life and my life controlling me.

I have many google sheets and docs set up in my wedding folder. I have budgets and timelines and to-do lists. I have address files and guest list tallies. Every detail regarding our wedding exists somewhere in this folder and, I think, it’s a good thing. Trust me when I say, I am not trying to overdo or over-plan the details of the wedding. That is not my goal AT ALL. BUT I am trying to make sure our guests have food to eat and some beer to drink and someone to take our pictures. Our end goal is to have a beautiful wedding ceremony followed by an amazing reception/party that is fun and comfortable and represents Erick and I as a couple. And as easy and carefree as I want the party to feel I still need to make sure most everything is planned out in advance in order to do so. It’s a tricky situation.

I am very happy to report that we have crossed off every big item (venues, caterers, music, etc) off of our list and now all that remains are the details…which I am totally not going to lose sleep over. The big decisions are behind us and now we can just relax (relax-ish) and let everything else fall into place.

That being said….I still have a lot of plans and planning left to get me to October 17. One of the things the website ‘The Knot’ (this is what I used to build my timeline from) said to do is to create a fitness and beauty plan. Well, anyone that knows me knows that a beauty plan isn't really my thing but I do plan on making sure I moisturize every day and where sunblock all the time- two things I already do pretty much every day.

The fitness plan, however, was right up my alley. Especially knowing that originally I was thinking of training to run a full marathon in January 2016 and then realizing there is no way I wanted to be running that much (mileage/time) during my wedding and honeymoon time. So I did want to create a new fitness plan that would help keep me working towards different fitness goals throughout the year but that was also realistic to my schedule. It was kind of strange planning out for a whole year but I think it will be good. And of course, I will tweak/change/adapt however I need to help keep me sane J This is what I came up with….

• January through April- half marathon training (I have two more coming up- 3/1 and 4/12) with spinning, DVDs (loving Les Mills Combat) and Zumba for cross training
• April-May- Ragnar training. Similar to above but the focus will be on running on tired legs. Like running at night and then again the following morning to help simulate the conditions of a relay race.
• May-July- PiYo (my goal is to complete the entire program) with cycling as cross training
• August-October- half marathon training and back to my twice/weekly sessions with my personal trainer
• October/post wedding I am planning to run two half marathons; Pensacola (November) and Louisiana (January 2016). Both I ran this year and I really want to run both again. 

So that’s the plan. Running, running, running, with cross training thrown in, PiYo and then more running.

I have also set some ‘rules’ to follow throughout the year:

• Limit processed food intake
• Limit beer to one (max two) days a week
• Limit eating out to 2-3 times a week
• Track daily
• 30 minutes of activity daily- walking counts!
• Don’t stress about the wedding!

That’s my plan. I am going to try to stick to it best I can but I understand how tricky it is planning out this far in advance. Things change. I’ll change. Who knows what lies ahead of me but as long as I keep moving forward I will be one happy bride J

Love and hugs,

Dacia

xoxoxox

Engagement/Family Photos

An Identity Crisis...Sort Of

Some days I experience emotions that make me feel a bit....lost. 

Not necessarily that I am going through life without a sense of direction but more like I missed out on a huge chunk of my life.

Let me explain.

I am thirty-six but I feel like I have the life of a twenty-four year old. And to be fair the only reason I say 24 and not 22 is because I went to grad school.

Here is why I feel like a 24 year old. 

I drive a car that is financed, not owned.

I live in a one room efficiency, that I rent.

I am single.

I have no kids.

I have only been at my current job for a year. And to add insult to injury, not only am I not established in my career I make less than I did 7 yrs ago when I got my Master's.

I feel like over the last decade (more particularly the last 4.5 years since I left Boeing) my life was paused. During this time my friends got married, bought houses, had families.

Me- well, I did get married but you all know how that one played out.

And it's weird, talking about this to E. He is my age, well a couple years older, but his life (although single and kid free) is quite different than mine. He owns his car, has a decade worth of equity in his home, and has been at his job for 13 years. He is established.

Me- well some days (like today) I just feel like I'm floating. Not grounded. Not rooted. Just here. And it is a weird feeling.

I feel like I will be 50 years old by the time I feel like I have a 36 year old's life. And that makes me nervous. 

And sad.

And remorseful for the life I feel like I lost.

And I can't fix this. 

I don't know how. 

Or at least I don't know how, yet.

Yes, I realize that every 36 year old leads a different life. I have high school friends with kids that are making college plans and I have friends who openly admit they will never settle down, never have kids, etc.  It's a broad spectrum.

And I'm on it somewhere, seemingly more towards one end than the other.

And I don't write about this because I want pity or sympathy but instead I write simply because it is cathartic for me. Sometimes this is the best way for me to express these feelings. And through that expression I hope to find a solution.

Or at least a glimmer of hope that my 36/24 life is ok.

That this is where I am meant to be.

That I will be ok.

Because this is my life and it will only ever look like what I make of it.

I can't take back those years of my life where I felt stagnant. Those years I feel I wasted.

But I can vow to work on creating better years going forward.   

And being ok with my life the way it is. Because ultimately it doesn't matter how I perceive the state of my 'adulthood'. 

I have a roof over my head, a job, and people that love me. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

Right?

Dacia

xoxoxo

FMM: the Holidays- Parts One and Two

If you’ve taken part in Friend Makin’ Monday (FMM) then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section over at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Make sure you share your link over at All theWeigh so everyone can see your responses. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s (and last week’s too) topic!

The Holidays: Part 1

1. What are you plans for Thanksgiving this year? I am quite fortunate that a number of my friends and co-workers invited me to spend the holiday with them this year. My plans are to go with a friend of mine and spend Thanksgiving with his family. It will be nice. It’s been 5 years since I spent Thanksgiving with my family so it will be a welcome change to spend it this way.

2. At what point do you being celebrating the Christmas season? Typically I try to wait until after Thanksgiving before I start celebrating Christmas however, there are Christmas songs already on the radio 24/7 and decorations already up around town so it is hard not to get sucked in.

3. Do you celebrate Christmas, or do you celebrate another holiday? Christmas

4. If you could have one present (you know, a material good, not love or world peace) what would you want? Wow….that’s a tough one. I feel like I already have everything I need and my list of wants is pretty small. I would say I would love some new earrings to replace the hummingbird ones I lost or even a new necklace to replace the one I broke (sorry James)

Oh and this pillow...it is completely ridiculous and far too expensive for a throw pillow but I love it so much. That would be the one present I would pick...

 

5. Share an idea or two that you can plan to do for someone who may need to feel loved throughout the holiday season. I have been on the hunt for really unique and meaningful gifts this year. This year I expect Christmas will be a lot different for me and instead of just getting hung up on me being alone I am trying to focus on showing those around me (and all over the country) how much their love and support means to me. This year I am going to try and make the holidays about giving thanks and spreading loving joy and celebrating life. You know- the real reasons for the holidays.

6. Would you rather spend the holiday season on the beach or in the snow? BEACH! Don’t get me wrong, I love the snow…for like a day or two…but I love the beach more. The beach feels like home to me…I think that’s why I love Pensacola so much.

7. What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? That’s a tough one…I would say either pumpkin pie or mashed potatoes. I did have some oyster mushroom cornbread stuffing a few weeks ago (which I will be preparing for this Thanksgiving) and it was so yummy….it may be my new favorite.

8. Will you participate in Black Friday shopping? Nope. I hate crowded malls/stores so BF is like a nightmare for me. If I shop at all it will be on Amazon…from the comfort of home.

9. Will you travel for the holidays or stay at home? If you’re traveling, are you flying or driving or making alternate plans? Like I said earlier, I am spending Thanksgiving with a friend and his family. We will be driving. It’s like an hour away from here- nothing too major. For Christmas I will be at home resting after surgery. The only travel plans I have for Christmas is spending what I am dubbing ‘Christmas weekend’ (the weekend before my surgery) traveling to Mobile (which is only an hour from here) to see the Nutcracker and a Christmas light show at Bellingrath Gardens.

10. List at least 5 things for which you are currently thankful. I have so much to be thankful for but I will keep this list short.

·         My family (which includes my furbabies, whom I miss oh so much)

 

 

·         My friends

·         My health

·         My job

·         Pensacola….my home

The Holidays and More: Part 2

1. What state/country do you live in? I live in Florida…the sunshine state :)

2. Where were you born? Were you raised there? I was born just outside of Philadelphia and grew up there until I was 8 (I think) when we moved across the bridge into Jersey...yep, I’m a Jersey girl…watch what you say ;)

3. How do you feel about stores like Wal-Mart opening on Thanksgiving Day for pre-Black Friday sales? Will you participate? Absolutely not! The whole idea is revolting. People (especially those who work in retail) deserve to spend Thanksgiving with their families (or at least not working) and I think being open that day is completely unnecessary and completely ridiculous.

4. Have you ever participated in a Turkey Trot? Yes! Last year; for the first time. It was a four-miler and it was awesome. Don’t think I will be doing one this year but hopefully I can get in a post-Thanksgiving feast walk to help the digestion ;)

5. What was your favorite toy as a child? I think you might need to ask my parents this one to know for sure but I feel like I had a giant doll that was the same size as me, maybe bigger, that I really loved. Oh and the doll house my great uncle Richard built for me.

6. Will you count points/calories on Thanksgiving Day? I don’t most days so no, I won’t be tracking on Thanksgiving. I will, however, try to not overeat or eat when I am already full just because I love ALL THE FOOD. I will try to treat it like a normal day and listen to my hunger cues. But, it is Thanksgiving and I’m not a robot…I will probably eat more than I would on a normal day. Lol!

7. Will you watch football Thursday? I am guessing we will. I definitely know I will be watching some football on Friday and Saturday. Oh and I get to go to two hockey games this week; Wednesday and Saturday. Yay!

8. Do you decorate inside/outside of your home for the holidays? Usually I do. This year, in my new apartment, I probably won’t do much though. I do have this little ceramic tree (that looks like the ones my grandmothers had/have when I was growing up) that makes me feel so happy every time I look at it. Definitely makes my little home super festive.

 

9. Do you have allergies that prevent you from eating traditional holiday meals? No allergies but as a vegan it is pretty difficult to eat most ‘traditional’ holiday food items. For my Thanksgiving dinner I am making baked tempeh with roasted veggies, cornbread stuffing, and probably some green beans or broccoli. I am also bringing cupcakes from a local bakery that sells both vegan and non-vegan cupcakes so I am going to bring a mix.

10. Is it snowing where you live? Ha! Nope…and I certainly hope it doesn’t. This Florida girl is not prepared for snow.

What about you? How will you be spending the holidays this year?

Happy Thanksgiving loves!

XOXO- Dacia

Some Days...

Most days, I would say probably a good 85-90% of them, I am pretty upbeat. Optimistic to the point I am sure I annoy people. Always seeing the best in a situation. Trying my best to be a positive influence for myself and others. Generally, just a happy-go-lucky kind of girl.

Most days.

But some days, not often but not rare either, I just feel sad. Lonely. Missing a part of myself. Hurting. Just a general state of ho-humness. Kind of blah. A bit of ick.

Today is one of those days.

Actually, yesterday was one of those days (triggered by the news of my great Aunt passing) and it trickled over to today.

But then this happened…

 

And a few hearty belly laughs over lunch.

And, of course, knowing that I am blessed with the most amazing family….

 

And friends...

 Thank you, calmingmanatee.com

 

And of course puppies...

How sweet?

It all helps bring me back to my happy place.

Photobomb!

Or places….

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you all so much for being here, reading, caring. You make every day so much better by being a part of my life. Love you guys to pieces! J



Just Checking In

Hey everyone! 

I'm writing this on my phone so it will be a brief post today. Just wanted to check in and let you know how things are going in NJ.

Mom's procedure went very well, as expected. The surgeon told me everything went as planned, the bilateral mastectomy and removal of the right side lymph nodes. The biopsy results from the lymph nodes should be in sometime later this week or early next. 

Yesterday, after the procedure, mom was pretty much out of it all day/night from the anesthesia but we stayed with her until we knew she was out for the night. This morning we found out she was being discharged and so we made a few trips to see her before they finally let her leave in the late afternoon. 

That about sums up the events of the past couple days. We are thrilled she is home and I know she is super happy to have the surgery over and done with. I'm trying my best to be a good daughter and take care of her the best I can which means trying to cook her healthy meals and show her videos of cute animals to help take her mind off of things. 

I'll be here until Sunday morning which is great. I'm happy to be home with my family through all of this. My next big hurdle-my final exam and final paper both due Monday for my grad classes.

Oh and then a triathlon on Thursday. 

Not 100% sure I'm ready to head back to reality. Lol! 

Oh, before I go- big huge thank you for all the messages, texts, calls this week. You guys are the best and I really appreciate all of your support. You make my life so much better just by having you in it. So thank you!!! 

Love and Kisses 

Dacia 

Wordless Wednesday- Travelin'

Some pictures from this past weekend's travels.

Training Tunnel Vision

Most days, getting my training run in is my number one priority.

Ok- maybe not most days.

I’ve been in a training rut lately and have probably missed more training runs that I have actually ran since I started this program up 7 weeks ago. If you’ve trained for a half before then you know that sometimes you have to skip runs (injury, illness, time constraints, etc) but most likely you focused on at least getting in your weekly long run. I’ve missed two of those. Eh, it happens.

But…training for this half is still super important and something I think about all the time.

This weekend I am heading home to attend my cousin’s wedding. Just a quick trip though, I’m flying in on Friday and back home Sunday. Of course the first thing that popped into my head when I bought my tickets/RSVPd was how will I get in my long run?

I reached out to some local runners the other day to see if they could recommend some good running spots and came up with a game plan for my 9 miles I was hoping to get in on Saturday morning. I was all set.

Until my Dad emailed me to point out that if I run on Saturday morning I won’t have any time to spend with him. He’s right. He isn’t going to the wedding. Friday night I will be out with friends. Spending the night Saturday where the reception is then driving basically straight from there to the airport. If I spent my time Saturday morning running then I wouldn’t get to spend any time with my Dad-whom I haven’t seen since February of last year.

So even though I know that when you are training for something you really should make it your number one priority this time I really just can’t. I want to hang out with my Dad. Who knows when the next time I will see him.

I’ll try to get in those miles (or at least some of them) at the hotel Sunday morning. Hopefully I can slip out while my family is still sleeping and go for a run around the hotel/vineyard. That would be cool.

Running, especially when following a training plan, is a great metaphor for life. It’s not always possible to stick to your plans no matter how great they are. So I will be flexible, be adaptable, but most of all I won’t beat myself up. It’s just one day, one run. And time with my Dad will always trump running.

Always.