2013 -A Look Ahead

I have been happily inundated with blog posts recapping 2012 and setting out resolutions and goals for 2013. For the past few weeks I too have been reflecting back on this past year and thinking about what 2013 has in store for me.

But when it came time to put pen to paper (or I guess fingers to keyboard) I found I don't have much to say. The truth is, if you are one of the few people who read this blog well then you already know what this year meant for me. I've never kept my stories, or progress, or victories (and failures) secret. If anything, I could easily be chastised for over-sharing. So yes, 2012 was an awesome year for me. But you already knew that didn't you?

What does that mean for 2013? I'm not sure. I have some grand ideas and some big changes on the horizon but I am not planning on setting any resolutions or goals for the year.  Maybe I should. I don't know.

Last year, on NYE, I spent some time setting my intentions for the year. I said them to Paul and somehow I felt like the act of saying them out loud, putting my words out into the universe, made them real. It made them feel obtainable.

Now as I sit here alone in my apartment I'm wondering if I should set my intentions here on this blog so at least they are out there in the world instead of just in my head.

But before I get into my intentions for 2013 I would like to say that I am also working on a list of 35. This list will represent 35 things I hope to accomplish in my 35th year. My birthday is in 9 days and I will hopefully have the list posted before then.  I feel like 35 is a such a big milestone and instead of cringing at the thought of falling into a new age group bracket I wanted to create a fun way to celebrate another year on this earth. My friend Jen is also turning 35 this year, in February actually, and she is also doing a list. Hopefully we can help each other make this year fabulous!

So, without further ado- here are my intentions for how I plan to live my life in 2013:

-Love myself and put my health and well being first. Take care of my body, mind, and soul. Be kind to myself. No more comparing, judging, harsh thoughts, or negative reactions. Only acceptance, forgiveness, and kindness.

-Be a better wife, daughter, friend and human. Be compassionate and loving. Be kind to all living things.

-Treat life like the adventure it is but don't allow fate to plot my course. I hold the reigns. I am in charge of my destiny. Remember that.

-Keep moving forward. Adapt, change, grow. Set goals, achieve them, and then set new goals. Never stop learning. Never be satisfied.

-Have fun. Laugh alot. As much as possible. Never take life for granted.

-Make sure the people I love always know how much love, respect, and gratitude I have for them. Never let anyone feel like they are taken for granted. Hugs and thoughtful words.

-Remember that there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

-Make sure to seize every opportunity available that would allow me to do any of the above.

These are my intentions for 2013 and I plan on spending everyday living up to them.

A wise woman said to me 'I don't want to start new- I want to stay me, only awesomer!' and I couldn't agree more.

Happy New Year everyone! May 2013 exceed your wildest dreams!

Image from http://hotelabrisf.com/packages/newyearseve/

The Holidays: My Plan of Attack

It might seem on the surface that it would be easier for me to ‘survive’ the holidays what with being alone, having no parties to attend, no family around to bake for and whatnot. And yes, I will probably have much less temptation to overindulge around me then most people will. I will, however, be alone.

On Christmas Eve.

And Christmas.

With nothing to occupy my time.

Which for me is far worse than being surrounded by indulgent foods and sweets at a party or gathering. It means I can easily spend two whole days sitting in front of the TV and eating everything in sight. For real. This could totally happen next Monday & Tuesday.

But I don’t want that to happen. And since I know me and how I am capable of behaving I needed to create a plan to help get me through the holidays without becoming an emotional, overeating wreck.

That plan really started this week. I wanted to head into the holidays feeling strong and I always feel that it is much easier to be active if you are already being active. Does that make sense? Like it’s easier to keep going then to start again after a long break.

This week I have continued with my training schedule for 3M (which is now less than four weeks away, yikes!) and tonight I will be attending my third barre class of the week. The rest of 2012 will hopefully go like this:

Friday, 12/21: Rest Day. Fridays are almost always my rest day. 

Saturday, 12/22: 6 mile run and barre class. I am attempting to do both since this will be the last day before my monthly barre membership expires. I have scheduled myself for the 945a class but if I am feeling exhausted after the run I will just cancel. I am ok with that but I would like to do both.

Sunday, 12/23: Gym Day. I plan on heading up to post and using the fitness center. I would love to swim, if the pool is open, maybe use the stair climber, rower and do some weights too. Now that my monthly membership for barre is over and I am out of classes on my account at Synergy I will be taking advantage of my free access to the post fitness center to supplement my running whenever I can.

Monday, 12/24: Santa’s Reindeer Run- an organized, group run around the river walk and up to the Alamo- approx. 5 miles. We will be dressed up in holiday outfits/costumes and hand out candy canes all while running around and being merry. It should be a lot of fun!

Tuesday, 12/25: Rest day. I don’t really have anything planned for Christmas day itself but if the weather is nice I plan on taking the dogs to the park in the morning.

Wednesday, 12/26: Run in the morning (intervals) and then gym after work for swimming

Thursday, 12/27: Run in the morning (hills) and then Thai Yoga therapy after work

Friday, 12/28: Rest Day!

Saturday, 12/29: Long Run - 12 miles

Sunday, 12/30: Hopefully we will have a group bike ride this week but if not I will be hitting up the gym (maybe I’ll even bike there) to use the pool and maybe some additional machines and weights

Monday, 12/31: Gym day to end 2012 unless I can find someone to accompany me on a hike. I would love to spend the last day of 2012 the same way I spent the last day of 2011, hiking Enchanted Rock.

I am also super excited that I will be celebrating the New Year in a healthy way by participating in the Commitment Day 5K on January 1, 2013.  There are Commitment Day runs being held in 30+ cities around the country. It’s all about committing to living a healthy lifestyle and helping others do the same in 2013. I am super excited for this 5K. Check out their website for more info and last I saw on FB they had a $10 off discount going with the promo code: holiday.

Keeping active is only part of the puzzle though, isn’t it? It certainly plays a big role in my health and wellness but there are also factors that play a part as well. Like what I eat.

I haven’t finalized my meal plan for next week yet but I know that I will be keeping my breakfasts, daytime snacks and lunches the same as what I eat any given week. I will plan out some fun and healthy dinners for the weekend and weekdays and for Christmas Eve and Christmas I ordered two different vegan dinners for one from Whole Foods. They are the perfect way for me to indulge in the foods I wouldn’t normally eat and at the same time help with portion control. Of course I will also partake in some special dessert treats from Whole Foods. I am super happy that WF sells vegan desserts in single portions. One slice of cake is ok, having a whole cake just sitting in my fridge- well that’s just Bad News Bears.

And last but certainly not least, for fun this long weekend (in addition to all the activities which I also really enjoy) I plan on going to the movies TWICE! I have a voucher for two movie tickets so I figure why not take advantage of it. I am going to see ‘This is 40’ on Christmas Eve and ‘Les Miserables’ on Christmas day. I so thankful that two different friends asked if they can come with me, one each day, so that way I won’t be spending my holidays in a crowded theater, alone. I am also excited about some of the new books I have and hope to read at least one of them over the next few weeks.

Also, now that Paul has cell phone access I am hoping we can Face Time. This way we can at least ‘see’ each other on Christmas. That would be awesome!

Looking back over all that I have going on I am not only very excited for the holidays I also feeling very fortunate for the life that I have.  Yes, there are days when I feel like being away from my husband, living across the country from my parents and my best friend are all less than ideal circumstances. But I am thankful every day that I have amazing people in my life that I miss and love and that I am missed and loved in return.

And I am thankful every day to be alive.

Happy Holidays!  

My sweaty self after the 10-miler on 12/15/2012. It was HOT for December!

"Treading"

According to my training schedule I should have done a 5 mile tempo run this morning. Unfortunately, I hit snooze one too many times and I knew there was no way I could get in 5 miles before work. So I opted for plan B. Always have a plan B.

After yesterday’s run I had thought I should probably hit the treadmill today. I had read that running on uneven surfaces and lots of turns/corners is the worst thing to do for an adductor injury and my normal 5 mile route is filled with both. Also, side note, 46 turns during the RnR half. Forty-Six! No wonder my leg went out during the half. Anywho, even though I despise the treadmill I know it is probably the best thing for me as far as recovery goes. And of course when I woke up it was raining which just reaffirmed that it would be a treadmill day for me regardless.

Since I knew I couldn’t get in 5 miles on the treadmill time wise (and I was actually kind of happy about that since running at one speed on a treadmill puts me to sleep) I opted for a different routine. Yesterday Melissa from the Daily Mel Blog (@TheDailyMel) posted an article link on FB to a treadmill workout used at the Biggest Loser Resort and since that was fresh in my mind I opted to give it a try. The routine is called ‘treading’ and here is how it works:

·         5 minute warm-up

·         5 minutes as hard as you can go

·         5 minute recovery 

·         4 minutes as hard as you can go

·         4 minute recovery

·         3 minutes as hard as you can go

·         3 minute recovery

·         2 minutes as hard as you can go

·         2 minute recovery

·         1 minute as hard as you can go

·         1 minute recovery 

·         5 minute cool down

Read more about it here

This is what I ended up doing:

·         5 minute warm up: 30 sec @ 2mph, 30 sec @2.5 mph, 1 min @ 3.1mph, 1 min @ 4mph , 1 min @ 5mph

·         5 min run @ 6mph

·         5 min recover @ 4mph

·         4 min run @ 6.3 mph

·         4 min recover @ 4mph

·         3 min run @ 6.6 mph

·         3 min recover @ 4 mph

·         2 min run @ 6.8 mph

·         2 min recover @ 4mph

·         1 min run @ 7mph

·         1 min recover @ 4mph

·         5 minute cool down; 2 min @ 5.1 mph, 1 min @ 4mph, 1 @ 3.5mph, 1 @ 3mph decreasing down to 2 mph

Total time 40 minutes, total distance 3.25 miles which isn’t too bad since half the time was spent walking

The routine was good; it kept my mind engaged and it went by pretty fast. I think doing this on the treadmill was easier on my body since it was on an even surface. I was able to push myself faster, and for longer, than I was when I did intervals on Tuesday outside so that’s a good sign, right?

I am thinking I will use this routine as my speed work once a week for the time being. I also plan on doing my hill work on the treadmill too (for now at least) but I still plan on doing slow/easy paced runs outside. I’m not sure if I will try to do my tempo runs on the treadmill or outside but since I don't have another one on the schedule for 2 weeks I will decide what to do about it then.

Do you run on a treadmill? How do you keep engaged and excited while doing so? Any tips?

“The past does not define, you the present does.” ~ Jillian Michaels

Physical vs. Mental

I have been having a rough time with this injury. Some days I feel great and others…well not so much. I was at Thai Yoga therapy yesterday and was talking to Tricia about it. I told her how I had a great run on Sunday but then I had a hard time with intervals Tuesday morning. I said I wasn’t sure if the issue I was facing was physical or mental. You see, I was having a really hard time pushing myself to run faster during my intervals and I didn’t know if it was because the injury was limiting my ability or if I was holding back because mentally I am afraid of making the injury worse. Does that make sense?

I am guessing it is a bit of both. I still have some lingering pain and range of motion issues and those are physical. But I am also 100% certain that there is a part of me afraid to really push it right now. Call me overly cautious but I just don’t feel healthy and the last thing I want to do is make matters worse.

I’ve also noticed that I can’t fight the lingering anguish from the half last month. That day diminished any self confidence I had at all in my abilities and I have yet to do anything since that helped build it back up. I am hoping that Sunday’s long run will give me a confidence boost because without it I am feeling quite hopeless.

I have never really had an injury like this before, never been in a situation where I am torn between training and races and feeling weak and trying to build strength and losing my patience and not wanting to force myself back into it too quickly. It’s quite the mess in my headspace right now.

But I do think I am doing what is best for my body and I do know that one day I will gain my confidence back. I just don’t know when that will be. So, until then I will just keep on truckin’.

Have you been sidelined from an injury before? How did you handle the mental side of it? How did you get your confidence back?

Wordless Wednesday: Strike a Pose

Apparently this is my pre-/post-running pic pose. Hmmmm...maybe I need to change it up a bit, all my pics look the same.

Just Checking In

First off, can I just say really? Really? It’s December freaking 4^th! When did that happen? Christmas is a mere 21 days away and Hanukkah starts this weekend. Crazy! I am thinking I should probably buy some Christmas cards soon, huh? This time of year is always so crazy-fewer work days but the same amount of work. How is anyone supposed to relax?

Well, I don’t really have too much new to report. Last week I went to three barre classes; Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday, and I ran four times; Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday. Well technically I ran five times because on Sunday I ran four miles on my own and then a few hours later took part in the Color Me Rad 5K which I jogged (when we could- it was kind of a cluster) with friends. I also got in a short bike ride to/from Saturday’s barre class, a Thai yoga therapy session and attended a Journey Dance class lead by Toni Bergens (founder/creator) herself which was absolutely amazing. It was a busy but fun week.

My running is getting better. I think I am almost back to 100%. This morning’s run (intervals) proved to me I am not quite there yet though. On Sunday, when I did my four miles, I ran the all uphill mile (mile 3) in my best time to date. I think it was 11:44- my first sub-12 min/mile for that one. It was a big achievement for me since I have ran that route quite frequently since we moved to our new place back in September. It may seem like a small victory but after the last month I’ve had it’s the equivalent of moving mountains.

Barre classes are going well too. I like them. They are challenging. They show me how little core and upper body strength I really have which just goes to reaffirm my need to be in a class like that. The class itself is good, the workout is pretty intense but the people there aren’t really welcoming. It’s very weird to feel completely isolated in a room full of people. It’s the first time I have participated in a group class and felt so awkward. But I know that class will really help me strengthen and tone- two things I am in desperate need of- so I will push through.

Since I am taking Saturday barre classes I had to move my long run day to Sundays which means missing out on my Sunday morning group bike ride. This stinks not only because I love to ride but because I love spending the morning with the group. Everyone is super friendly and talkative- it is a very social ride. This past Sunday I timed my run so that I ended up at the meet up spot at 7a so I could say hello to everyone. It was nice seeing them, even if they did make me feel guilty about missing out on the ride. I saw something posted on FB from the San Antonio Bikes group that they are doing a ride this Saturday- a tour of the San Antonio Cultural Arts Westside Murals. It doesn’t start until 11a so I can do both the barre class and the bike tour so I am super excited about that.

I realized that since I will be spending most of my active hours running (alone) or at barre class (feels like I’m alone) and I spend my workday at a desk, on a computer, with very little interaction with others, that it is important to me that I make time for things like group bike rides or Journey Dance/Nia classes where I can be both active and social. If I don’t I could literally spend a whole weekend talking to only my dogs, and Paul/my parents when they call, which is kind of weird.

I guess for me finding my balance includes finding ways to be active socially. Or socially active. One of the two. It would be great if I could find a running partner or group for my long runs. Yeah, I think finding a Sunday morning running group would be great. If you know of any in the greater San Antonio area let me know.

For now, I will just continue on with my half marathon training plan, for 3M in January, and try to build up some muscle strength to help get me ready. I have the SARR Mission 10-Miler coming up on 12/15 and that will really be a good test as to whether or not I can do the 3M half. Fingers crossed. I am so ready to be 100%, injury free again.

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending" ~ Carl Bard

Some pics from Color Me Rad. If you have the opportunity to do a color run I highly recommend it. Super fun!

Half Marathon Blues

Hi everyone! It’s been over two weeks since the half marathon and I think I am finally ready to talk about it. About everything that is going on in my head. And where I am going from here.

First, I really need to reiterate (in case you didn’t watch my post-half vlog) that I am very happy to have completed my first half marathon. I am super proud of myself for spending 4+ months training and preparing for something I never thought possible and then going out and doing it. I had never really experienced anything of that magnitude (re: intense training culminating with a gigantic, 27K+, event) so from start to finish the whole experience was quiet surreal. It is something I will never forget.

That being said- I’m pissed and disappointed and defeated and sad. I worked really, really hard. I put in the time and the effort. I was committed to this 100%. And to suffer through an injury just a few weeks before the half, followed by getting sick the week of, well that just was not what I had planned.

I had worked so hard; chiropractor, massage therapy, yoga, acupuncture, vitamins, juicing, ice baths, rest, etc to get myself healthy for the half and I really thought I was. Until I was in it and realized I wasn’t.

Until I had to watch everything I had worked towards crumble around me.

Until I had to accept that I wasn’t going to run for 13.1 miles. That my ‘running’ would feel like I was in molasses and that me walking was actually a faster pace than my body would let me ‘run’. It was a complete mind-fuck- excuse my French.

Every runner has bad days, that’s just life. But no one expects it to happen on the big day, the only day that counts.

I completed a half marathon- that is something I am proud of.

I did it in 03:07 and that is something I am not.

I didn’t have a number in my head I was trying to achieve or beat. This would be the benchmarking race. I just wanted to run and enjoy myself which I tried like hell to do.

I didn’t have a number in my head BUT I most certainly did not think it would take me over 3 hours to complete a half marathon. My 12 mile time was 02:20 so no, I didn’t ever think it would take 47 minutes longer to complete an additional 1.1 miles.

My mile pace for the half was a 14:17 min/mile. I have never, ever run at a 14:17 pace. Even my slowest long runs when I was first starting out were sub-13 min/mile pace. Before I started running I was walking 5Ks at a 12:50 pace. So, yeah- 14:17 wasn’t even a number that crossed my mind.

And as I type this out I feel foolish even talking about these feelings but I just want you to know where I am right now and how that day changed things for me.

After the half I got much, much sicker than I had been. I was a mess. I wasn’t really sore from the half. Just sick. And very tired. So I spent a few days sleeping, trying to get healthy.

Then when I finally felt better the only thing I felt was pissed. I was so mad at my performance and my injury and I just wanted redemption.  I wanted another chance to prove to myself that I could run the half I trained for, the half I expected to run.

I even thought about signing up for another half right away.

But I wasn’t even sure if I could actually run. So first I needed to test out the leg. And that is what I set out to do 6 days after the half. Run. Just to see how I felt.

And it was disastrous. I got about 2.5 miles from home and I was in a world of hurt. I was experiencing the same issue I was on the day of the half, just worse. I couldn’t run. I could not force my left leg to move. It felt sluggish, restricted. And on that day- painful.

And so there I was 2.5 miles from home. Pissed. Angry. Defeated. And 2.5 miles from home. I had to walk back alone with my thoughts which, trust me, weren’t pretty.

I wasn’t pissed that this injury was probably worse than I had thought. I wasn’t pissed that it meant rest and that it could possibly mean having to cancel/change future plans. I was pissed that I had all these emotions inside that I didn’t have an outlet for. I couldn’t run to redeem myself. But worse than that was that I couldn’t run period. Running has become so cathartic for me that not having it in my life has left me an emotional mess.

This took some time to work through.

But now I am back. And I have a plan. And a new focus. And I am ready to pick up the pieces and move on from the half.

I am 7 weeks out from the 3M Half Marathon which I am not sure I will be ready for in time. But I am easing back into running. I have set up a new training schedule focusing just on getting ready for this half. The next few weeks I will be easing back into training. Slow, easy runs only. No intervals or tempo runs- just running at a comfortable pace. I am hoping that I am ready to ease back in. I ran 4 miles last Thursday at the Turkey Trot and felt really good. No pain. I kept it slow and it worked out well. Tomorrow I start off my training schedule with a 3 mile run. We’ll see how it goes.

Another thing I really want to focus on over the next couple of months is my cross-training. Not only do I need to build strength back up in my leg I also need to focus on building core strength. What I’ve decided to do is supplement my running with barre classes. There is a studio near my home in San Antonio that offers Smart Barre classes. Here is the class description from their website in case you aren’t familiar with the Barre classes:

“Smart Barre practices concentrated movements that function as deep sculpting tools to strengthen and lengthen muscles. As a total body workout, this class fuses principles of ballet, Pilates, and yoga to target body areas in which women struggle- the core, hips, thighs, seat and arms. A traditional ballet barre is used to help maintain balance and provide resistance, however, you will not need a tutu in this class to achieve the long, lean look of a dancer. In addition to the barre, light weights, a playground ball, and a cushy mat are used. An efficient, upbeat workout, you will find it a “smart” use of time.”

I went to my first class last Saturday and thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s tough, don’t get me wrong, but it is just what I need. Not only am I trying to improve my running I am also trying to tone up and lose a few pounds. I have Paul’s Officer Candidate School graduation in January and I want to look good for it. It’s a formal event which I will need to dress up for so I want to feel comfortable in whatever I wear.

I am also going to ride my bike (I may even ride to/from Barre class on Saturday mornings) and take Nia, Journey Dance and yoga classes whenever I can as well as continue with my weekly Thai Yoga therapy.

So that’s my plan for now. I hope to be able to get back into the swing of things with my running/training but if my body isn’t ready for it I will wait. But even if I can’t run I vow to continue my cross training. My end goal is to be strong and healthy and there are many avenues that can get me there. I have to remember that.

"We may train or peak for a certain race, but running is a lifetime sport."  ~Alberto Salazar

11/22/2012- Before the start of the Turkey Trot 4-Miler