What I think is that life is easy.
Throughout the day I might feel both happy and sad, angry and ecstatic, overwhelmed and carefree. Sometimes all at once.
Life is not just one thing- easy or hard. And as a person I am not limited to just one emotion. Everything isn’t so polar. There is no black and white- only shades of gray. Cliché, I know. But it’s true.
Why do I say this? Well, lately I have been thinking a lot about things I see on social media. It happens. Sometimes (most times) social media is great for me. It is a source of inspiration and encouragement. It is usually a very positive experience. But there are also times where social media sends my mind and emotions into a frenzy. Good, bad or indifferent sometimes it is just a bit much.
Being someone that is a “successful weight loser” it’s no surprise that many of the groups I am in on FB, blogs I read, twitterers I follow are also weight loss/maintenance themed. These people make up a huge chunk of my tribe. And I love it.
And I also, at times, don’t love it.
You see, I am that person (you know, that weird hippie girl) that firmly believes that our circumstances, or at least or reactions to our circumstances, are controlled by are perceptions of the situation. If you think something is hard/challenging/difficult then it will be hard/challenging/difficult. If you think you can’t do something, you probably won’t. If you think you can’t succeed, it will be much easier to fail. If you think you can’t be or don’t deserve to be happy, then guess what? It will feel like happiness is eluding you.
On the flip side- I believe the opposite to be true too. If you think you can succeed, you most likely will (or at least change in a positive manner for trying). If you think something will be helpful/beneficial/worthwhile it will feel that way too. And of course, if you feel worthy of happiness you will be happy.
I am not saying that it is as easy as just thinking it and it being so, but kind of. To me, mentally believing something is the first and most important step.
So when I hear about how hard weight maintenance is or how hard training for a marathon is or how impossible passing pre-lims will be and those little nuggets burrow into my brain I have to fight my hardest not to believe it to be true. Or at least not let other people’s feelings change my perception of my own circumstances.
And how do I stop this from happening? Well lately I have found a trick that is helping me to correct this is comparison. I know, I know- it’s not healthy to compare ourselves to others. That isn’t exactly what I mean. Instead of comparing Dacia to Jane, one person to another (completely different and unique) person. I compare my situation to another situation that in turn helps me shift my perception.
Example- weight loss maintenance is hard. I hear it every day. Some days I am the one saying it. And I have written before about why, in comparison to weight loss or obesity it feels (or at least should feel) easier. But here is the thing. Weight maintenance is whatever I make it to be. And I want it to feel easy and normal and just the way it should be so I think about how it can be and is easy and normal because I am lucky. I am lucky because I have the ability mentally, physically and financially to make the choices I want, that support the lifestyle I want to live. There are so many others that don’t have that choice. There are many others that suffer every day due to illness, so many living in pain, in poverty, so many that are experiencing REALLY TRULY HARD LIVES. I am not one of them. Dacia remember this- your life is not hard. You’ve got it good. Celebrate that!
I am not saying that I should deny that life at times is a struggle or that making the best choice for me isn’t always the easiest choice. I am not saying that at all. I am human, not a robot. I am just saying that I need to remind myself in those moments that I am lucky. I have health and freedom to make choices. And maybe I am not always mentally strong enough to put a positive spin on every situation and come out of every day feeling like life is easy. But I should remember what hard is (and yes, I have experienced a lot of truly hard and terrible things in my life) and know that the moment I am in now is easier in comparison.
I mean seriously, if I can survive all of the death and sickness and sadness in my life so far and come out on top then I definitely know I can survive (and thrive) in weight maintenance, marathon training and pre-lims. Right?
Love and hugs,
“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about." ~Marilyn Monroe
*Edited to include the entire MM quote